Still Here

We are now in our final year of a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. It has been difficult to get to a place where there is hope. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully for this last year, things will go smoothly. Looking back on the last four years, I have to say that I have been miserable, worried, humbled, strengthened, and cautious. Sometimes all of these things at once. This experience has changed me and I think that is the point of the whole thing; to change your thoughts about money, change the way you handle your money. It makes you slow down and consider where every cent must go. It makes you realize that no one is really on your side and that all you really have to rely on is yourself. Lawyers don't care, trustees certainly don't care and the government just wants you to comply and pay everyone back. My adivce to anyone starting a Chapter 13 is to expect to work harder on this than your lawyer, put your head down and do whatever you are told, slow down, try to find little things that can help you feel happy because sometimes things look very dark. You are not actually sent to "debtor's prison" anymore, but you are in a prison without bars until you have paid what you owe. Remember that and push through.

Living With Consequences of Chapter 13 Bankruptcy

It has been a couple of months since I have written anything about our life after this whole bankruptcy mess, and now I have some more to write. Back when we were first deciding whether or not filing for bankruptcy was what we really wanted/needed to do, our lawyer said, "Just wait, you will feel so relieved when you know that every month your bills are being paid by the Trustee. . . " It has been nearly seventeen months since we filed and I have not had a day go by that I was not sick with worry about our money. I can honestly say that we are worse off today than we were one year ago. Our payment plan is so ridiculously high that we are trying to live on $1980.00. We have four children and I have to say that $1900.00 doesn't even cover our utilities and gasoline for our cars so that we can get to work. I have only been able to purchase groceries three times this summer, and every two weeks, right before payday, we invariably run out of food. It is embarrassing to admit this, but we have been getting food from a nearby church's food pantry so that we can eek by each week. I have been forced to sell my furniture (a sectional for $75.00) in order to pay for gasoline to get to work. This whole experience has been nothing like what our attorney led us to believe. We have tried twice to have our payment plan modified so that we can afford food, monthly medication for my husband and one of my daughters, and utilities, but both times we have been denied. Our lawyer seems to be unable to tell us where he is getting the numbers he is throwing out to us, he refuses to go through our schedule I and J line by line so that we can see how our numbers compare to what the Trustee has. He insists that his hands are tied because the Trustee believes we have $3800.00 per month left after our payment to her for our living expenses. I am no math whiz, but I know that $1980.00 does not equal $3800.00. Our attorney cannot seem to come up with an answer for why there is such a discrepancy. He also is unable to tell us exactly why the Trustee objects to our requests. He also has failed to tell us why she took over our mortgage and car payment at the first meeting since we were not in arrears on either payment, and wanted to continue to pay those two items ourselves. There are so many things about this situation that are frustrating. We can't seem to get anywhere with it, and in the meantime, my kids are going to be hungry, meds are not given and we are all dying a slow death.

Search for Money for College Continues. . .

My search for any kind of financial assistance for my daughter to attend college continues. She has chosen a state university that really isn't that expensive, if you have the funding. As I have written in a previous blog, my husband and I unfortunately had to file for Chapter 13 Bankruptcy a little over a year ago. One of the questions I asked our lawyer was, would we be able to get a student loan so our daughter can go to college? The lawyer said the bankruptcy probably wouldn't interfere with that. Well, the lawyer, in all his brilliance, was wrong! We cannot acquire any more debt while paying off our previous debt. I totally get that, but if we had filed for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, we would not be in this situation. We failed the means test for a Chapter 7.
I filled out the required FAFSA forms in hopes that she might qualify for some kind of help. The unfortunate thing is that it appears  my husband and I have a large income. Being a "displaced housewife," I only earn about $4000 a year, but my husband actually has a really decent job. The only problem is that out of each paycheck, money is  taken out directly and sent to the Trustee. We pay a whopping $5595.00 per month to the trustee. That leaves us with a meager $2000.00 per month to feed and clothe our family of six. We have had some unexpected car repair issues  and so in order to save enough money to pay to fix the car, I have not purchased groceries like a normal person would. It saddens me to say that my poor nine year old has gone to bed hungry and gone to school without breakfast on several occasions during the last three months or so. We made many an evening meal of watered down pancakes lately! We are quickly becoming accustomed to meat free/protein free meals around here! My point is, if our true finances were being reflected in the FAFSA forms, I believe my daughter would qualify for some sort of grant or loan. We are still waiting for the "Award Letter" from the school so I don't know for sure where we stand. I am heartsick that because of a terrible economy and some unwise decisions that my husband and I made, our whole family is paying the price--my oldest daughter being the one who is taking the brunt of it. It is just sickening.
In my search for scholarships and financial aid, I came across an appalling article that claims parents who do not pay for their child's college education are bad, selfish, negligent parents. I wish I could get ahold of the dude who wrote that piece! There are plenty of suggestions for paying for college for people who are in normal financial situations. I am all for parents helping their kids pay for at least some of their college. If we could just get our daughter started, by the time she is finished we will have paid our debts in full and have the money available to help her pay for any loans she would get. The problem is just getting someone to take a chance, and loan her the money. I am sure this saga will continue. If you are in a similar situation as I am and you have found my blog looking for answers, I am sorry to say that I have not found any, but if I do, I will certainly post them here. Please check back again for any new things I have found out.

Paying for College While in Bankruptcy

One of the most frustrating things I have encountered lately is the whole college education funding problem. For most people, this process seems easy. You fill out the FAFSA form, you apply for scholarships, and sometimes you get money to help pay for your kid's education.If you don't happen to qualify for any assistance, then you can apply for a loan, and bang, you are good to go. . . EXCEPT when you have me, or my husband for a parent, then things all of a sudden become complicated. We have completed the FAFSA, my daughter searched for appropriate scholarships she could apply for, and she has been accepted to the college of her choice. The only problem is that we can't afford it. My daughter has been rejected for all of the scholarships she applied for. As of yesterday, all hopes of winning even a little scholarship money are dashed; the last rejection letter came in yesterday's mail. My poor daughter, crestfallen! The problem for us is that we are not in a minority, my husband and I are still married, my husband and I both have jobs, and my daughter is "only" a B student. On the surface, that doesn't sound like a bad thing, and it also looks like we should be able to at least help our daughter apply for a loan, but things are not always the way they appear to be on the outside. If you were to look just beneath the fraying edges of our family life, you would see that we are sitting precariously on the very top of a dangerous cliff; one little thing could send us over the edge. Because my husband and I are in an active Chapter 13 bankruptcy, three quarters of what we earn is taken by the court appointed trustee to pay our debts. The other one quarter of the income is to go to pay for groceries, utilities and healthcare. We are not in a position to co-sign on a loan. The FAFSA forms do not reflect the "sins" of the parents. It only looks at how much a person earns, not at what, where or how much of it goes to other things. So, because of the financial ineptitude of my husband and I, my dear daughter(s) are suffering. They are the ones who will be shouldering the cost of something my husband and I should, at the very least, be assisting with. My daughters will be impacted by a mistake my husband made and my inability to see it and insist that it be remedied, for years to come.

If you are currently considering filing for bankruptcy, or are currently in Chapter 13 bankruptcy, and you have found my blog because you were looking for help paying for your child's education, I am sorry, I do not have any help to offer you. There does not seem to be any assistance anywhere. Our only hope is that our daughter will be able to get a high interest student loan with a deferred repayment plan. If that happens, then we might be able to help her in four years when we have paid back all our previous debt. If you are considering filing for bankruptcy, please do a lot of research and if possible, find another way to get out of debt. Bankruptcy is awful and should be an absolute last resort.

So Many Unknowns

Yesterday I wrote a post about how this Chapter 13 bankruptcy is slowly killing me, and it truly is, I think. I have so many unanswered questions and the lawyer is not very helpful. Most of the information I have found out by searching on the internet and from the free webinar from Stephen Snyder, but it seems that most of the information out there is in regard to Chapter 7 bankruptcies. I have no idea what I should be doing now to rebuild my credit. On of the things Stephen Snyder says to do is to get a prepaid Visa or MasterCard, but there is no way I can do that because you have to have money to deposit into that Visa or MasterCard. All of our money is going to the trustee and what little is leftover pays for a few groceries, gasoline and essentials for my kids. It seems to me that people who file Chapter 7--who walk away without being required to pay back anything-- have more options than people like me who are trying to do the right thing and trying to pay back as much as possible. To make me feel even worse, that awful trustee looked me in the eye and said that if I couldn't prove that I was giving money to my church, then she would have to raise our monthly payment even more. Since we have begun payments to the trustee (nearly $6000 per month), I have been unable to give much to my church on any regular basis. If the money is in my wallet, I put it in the plate. Our lawyer said that if you want to just not give money to the church and save it for a vacation (what a joke!) then no one would even question it. I am so discouraged. We made a mistake, and are trying to do the right thing, but we are never going to recover at this rate. If anyone out there has any good, true knowledge about rebuilding credit while in a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, please let me know!

This is Killing Me!

I noticed that it has been almost a month since I have last written a post. There was a time when I was spitting out at least one new post a week. It seems this bankruptcy thing is sucking every last bit of life out of me. I have noticed lately that I just don't enjoy anything the way I used to. It feels like I am in jail and am serving at least a five year sentence. Every minute of every day, I am worried about money, and if we are going to make it to the next paycheck. This is no way to live my life. I keep trying to change my thinking about this, but I just get so bogged down with worry. With the holidays coming up, there is even more worry. I have already told the girls  there won't be much gift giving this year. After the payment to the trustee, there is only enough money to buy a few groceries. On weeks that there are other expenses like lunch money or clothes, I really sweat it. It is no longer fun to think about having all the family over for Thanksgiving. All I can think about is how much more money  I am going to have to spend, not only on the extra food items, but on extra toilet paper, our water bill will be higher, our electric bill will go up, so will our heating bill. All of these things are now worrisome to me. Before, I was just so happy to have everyone over, having a good time, now the joy is gone. Everything seems like a joke to me. I need to have my carpets cleaned, and our truck needs a little work. Our mattress needs to be replaced, and before this stupid bankruptcy, we would have been able to get all these little things taken care of. My husband said that we should just get a mattress that would count for Christmas, Anniversary, and birthday gifts to each other. Well, that's a nice idea, but there isn't money for any of those gifts now and there won't be any later, there is never any leftover money to even put in our savings, so saying something like that, to me, is just meaningless. There just isn't any point in planning on anything. The best I can do is pay the bills we have, scrape up enough to buy groceries and hope to God nothing catastrophic happens. Again, if you are considering filing for bankruptcy, my advice is to do anything possible, check into any alternative you can, before filing--this is hell and it is killing me slowly.

After Bankruptcy

As I have written about before, my husband and I filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in April of this year. So far, it has caused us nothing but humiliation and heartache. There has not been that feeling of: "Ah. . I'm so relived. . ." We are paying a huge amount to try to pay back as much as we possibly can to our debtors. We have been treated like we are lepers and imbeciles, so it has not been an easy road so far. I really didn't expect that it would be, but I thought that I would have some sort of feeling of relief. That has yet to manifest. I have nothing but worry right now. My husband and I did, however attend a web seminar ("webinar") that we received an invitation for. The invitation came from Stephen Snyder who has spent the last 15 years trying to make bankrupt people feel better and come out of bankruptcy stronger. Mr. Snyder is the head of his After Bankruptcy Foundation, and is trained by the Fair Isaac Corporation (FICO). I had my doubts about Mr. Snyder, but the seminar was helpful, albeit long--4 hours! I did a little research on Stephen Snyder and found out that he is from my hometown of Goshen and graduated from high school the same year I did. Our high schools were "cross-town" rivals. How bad can a guy be who hails from a small Indiana town, and actually still lives in a small Indiana town. He is legit, and if you are struggling with life after your bankruptcy, I would highly recommend connecting with Stephen Snyder. Most of the things he talked about didn't really apply to my husband and I because we were not in arrears on any of or our bills, there is no foreclosure, no judgements or liens against us, we just were buried in credit card debt and a huge IRS bill. While I still think we could have worked things out without the complication and consequences of bankruptcy, our life now is what it is--Stephen Snyder sort of put things in perspective and assured us that life does go on, and you can emerge from it a better person. If you need help or want to participate in one of Stephen Snyder's workshops, here is his website https://www.afterbankruptcy.com/. Good luck, and please feel free to leave your comments here.

Things Are Getting Pretty Slimy and I Want Out!

As I have written in a couple of previous posts, my husband and I foolishly filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in April of this year. We have started our pay back plan and as usual, there is something that is not quite jibing the way we were informed it would. For the last two paychecks, my husband has only brought home a little over $800.00. He is paid every other week, so generally there are two paychecks per month--our family of six is living off of $1600.00 per month. I use the word "living" loosely because all we have been able to do with the money is pay our utilities and buy gas for our cars so we can get to work. I have been able to purchase groceries once in the last four weeks and with four children, $174.00 worth of groceries doesn't last very long. This whole thing has taught me to be humble, that is for sure, however our plan was to leave us with just under $3000.00 per month to pay our bills and buy groceries, pay for doctor visits and those sorts of things. Somehow, though, the lawyer/trustee calculations are not matching up with my husband's deductions from his paycheck. His company is doing exactly as they have been ordered by the court, so their calculations are correct. Our lawyer was rather put out with a rather panic stricken e-mail I sent him last week informing him that we were not going to be able to pay our bills with the money that has been left for us to live on. In a nutshell, he blew me off. Every moment of every day, and all night long, my mind is stuck on how we are going to survive five years of this. Next year one of our children will be going to college and I have no idea how we will pay for it. We won't be able to get a loan, so I am left to worry about that as well. I have been praying about this mess since it all came to light in January. I do believe that prayers are heard and answered, but for me, it never seems to be fast enough. My family is falling into a slimy pit of financial disaster, and I have no solid answer to my prayers. I have a little job that pays a little, but it is only for the school year. I have made an appointment to sell my plasma--I'm trading plasma for gasoline--I feel like a mess. There is a Psalm written by the great King David that has given me a little hope. . . it goes like this: ¹

I waited patiently for the LORD;
       he turned to me and heard my cry.
 ² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
       out of the mud and mire;
       he set my feet on a rock
       and gave me a firm place to stand.
 ³ He put a new song in my mouth,
       a hymn of praise to our God.
       Many will see and fear
       and put their trust in the LORD.
 ⁴ Blessed is the man
       who makes the LORD his trust,
       who does not look to the proud,
       to those who turn aside to false gods.
 ⁵ Many, O LORD my God,
       are the wonders you have done.
       The things you planned for us
       no one can recount to you;
       were I to speak and tell of them,
       they would be too many to declare.
 ⁶ Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
       but my ears you have pierced
       burnt offerings and sin offerings
       you did not require.
 ⁷ Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
       it is written about me in the scroll. 
 ⁸ I desire to do your will, O my God;
       your law is within my heart."
 ⁹ I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
       I do not seal my lips,
       as you know, O LORD.
 ¹⁰ I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
       I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
       I do not conceal your love and your truth
       from the great assembly.
 ¹¹ Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
       may your love and your truth always protect me.
 ¹² For troubles without number surround me;
       my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
       They are more than the hairs of my head,
       and my heart fails within me.
 ¹³ Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
       O LORD, come quickly to help me.
 ¹⁴ May all who seek to take my life
       be put to shame and confusion;
       may all who desire my ruin
       be turned back in disgrace.
 ¹⁵ May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"
       be appalled at their own shame.
 ¹⁶ But may all who seek you
       rejoice and be glad in you;
       may those who love your salvation always say,
       "The LORD be exalted!"
 ¹⁷ Yet I am poor and needy;
       may the Lord think of me.
       You are my help and my deliverer;
       O my God, do not delay.

Psalm 40
I am ready to climb out of this slimy pit. I need a little good news. . .

Thinking of Filing for Bankruptcy? DON'T!

If you are currently considering filing for a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, my simple advice to you is this: DO NOT DO IT! Without going into the stupid, gory details of my own ridiculous situation, let me tell you a few things I have learned.

1. Do not trust lawyers. They may think their intentions are good and noble. "I love helping people like you get out of situations like this!" That is good, old-fashioned bull crap. The lawyer is there for one reason, and that is to make money.


2. Do not trust the initial calculations for the "repayment plan." It looks very "do-able" in the beginning, but, as in our case a $1200.00 per month payment plan has now been tinkered with by the lawyer and the trustee so much that the monthly payment is $6000.00. We will now be living below the poverty level for a family of six, but we will not qualify for any school lunch or other assistance.

3. Do not believe for one minute that anyone (your lawyer, the trustee, the judge etc.) is on your side.

4. Do not expect that anything will be done quickly or easily. Everything ends up in turmoil.

5. Do not expect that you and your spouse will ever be the same after this. It is an enormous strain, especially if one spouse has incurred most of the debt.

6. Try to do everything you do with cash only.

7. Pray every during every available minute that a miracle will happen for you.

If there is any possible way for you to avoid filing for bankruptcy (either Chapter 13 or 7) please, please consider it! Bankruptcy sucks and it is ruining what should have been a wonderful life.

Money Problems

Have you ever had problems with money? It seems like in the twenty years I have been married, all we have had is money problems. I am only now finding out just how much trouble we are/were having. We have gotten ourselves in such debt that I don't think we will ever be free. It is sickening and no matter how mad about it I get, I still only have myself to blame. Being a stay-at-home mom, my attention was almost exclusively focused on the children. My husband "paid" the bills and I didn't think too much about it. On several occasions I offered to take the burden of paying the bills off of my husband's shoulders, but he refused. A couple of times, after I insisted, he showed me his bookkeeping and had it so confusing, and so complicated that all he did was yell at me when he was trying to show me what he was doing. I have always been a little "old school" with my bookkeeping--paper and pencil and a tickler file. Anyway, in the last year, I have taken over a good bit of the bill paying and was shocked at the amount of credit card debt we are in. I had no idea my husband had used cash advances and balance transfers to max out most of the credit cards we had. While I would love to put all the blame on him, I certainly have to take responsibility for some of the situation as well. If I had not wanted to get a table for the kitchen, or landscaping, or bedroom accessories, then he might not have felt so much pressure to put things on a credit card. At any rate, we are in a terrible fix. I don't see any other way out except to file for bankruptcy. This makes me heartsick. We have children who will be going to college and very likely will be affected by this move. We are considering Chapter 13, which makes me want to vomit every time I think about it, but unless one of us has a rich uncle we don't know about, or we win a sweepstakes, we are out of options. I recently got a part-time job after being unemployed for 17 years, but now I am wondering if I will even be able to afford gas for my car to get me to that job. It is a black hole we are falling into, and I am scared!