I've Lost That Christmas Feeling

Perhaps you have read the children's book, "The Polar Express" by Chris Van Allsburg. It is a sweet story that the movie industry ruined when the movie version of it came out a few years ago. At any rate, the book sort of gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling when you read it. It has always been one of my favorite books to read to my girls, except for this year. I just can't seem to find that same "Christmasy" feeling this year. I want to have it. I want to be happy and want to make this year's Christmas a memorable one for my girls, but my heart feels heavy. Last week we took the girls to a Christmas pageant that a local private school put on. It was well done; with live animals and all the traditional Christmas hymns were sung by the choir, but still I'm just not feeling it. We had a lovely snowfall a couple of days ago, and even that didn't help lift my spirits. I am out of sorts. We are living in a new place and I don't talk to anyone other than my children and my husband (when he is speaking to me), I am far away from my family and won't be observing the traditions we started when we lived close to everyone. I keep praying every night that we get some good news, or that something good would happen in the world or just here at home so I feel like I'm not just going through the motions of life. I want to be inspired. I want to do good things. I want to be happy. I want to truly believe so that I can hear the silver bell jingle again!