Is It Worth It?

Is it worth your child's life to let him or her live her "lifelong" dream of sailing alone around the world? Is a sixteen year old capable of even having  "lifelong" dream? I am referring, of course, to the young lady, Abby Sunderland, who is attempting to sail around the world. She ran into a bit of trouble somewhere in the Indian Ocean, and everyone started to panic. I have a seventeen year old that I have apoplectic fits about when I know she is out driving my car, I would never allow her to try to sail a boat by herself in Lake Webster, let alone sail around the world. I would not even let her drive cross-country alone--I will have none of it. Granted, this Sunderland gal has been "sailing" all her life, so she probably has a pretty good idea about how to do it, but I am reminded of a little girl, Jessica Dubroff, the seven year old whose "dream" it was to be the youngest pilot to fly across the country. At the time, my now seventeen year old was about five years old and I did a comparison of her to that little girl back then. I had a bad feeling about that stunt then, and sure enough, it ended tragically with the little girl flying her plane in terrible weather and crashing. Her life was gone. Just like that. The parents had the power to say "no, I don't think it is a good idea" but they chose to let the little girl have her way, or chose notoriety over common sense, and a life was lost. While it looks like this Abby is going to be okay, for now anyway, I think that any kid who is younger than eighteen really doesn't have the ability to see the dangers and mishaps that can come along with any risky behavior. Children and teenagers just don't have the ability to think things out in a logical way. They need parents to say they love them and their lives are more valuable than any risk or notoriety that would be attached to the risky activity.

Juxtapostion of Life

Last night when I was drifting off to sleep, a funny thing occurred to me: I have two kids who are at similar milestones in their lives but at very different stages. Let me explain. My oldest daughter just passed her driver's test and got her first driver's license. What an exciting time for her; what a worrisome time for me. My youngest daughter has finally learned how to ride her bike. What a joyous time for her, what a worrisome time for me. They are both testing out their wings, both learning what a joy it can be to have a little taste of freedom. Both are learning that there are many dangers in the world. Both are learning that seat belts and helmets are important, lifesaving devices. Both are learning to be cautious and watchful. Both know what a close call feels like. As for me, I worry. I know worrying is not the best thing to do, but I do it anyway. My oldest just doesn't seem ready; doesn't have the driving skills yet to be set out on her own in my car. My youngest is discovering that riding her bike to the pool isn't "that far," and that pushing down hard and fast on her coaster brake can produce a great skidding, fishtail effect, even if the end result is a skinned knee. My youngest daughter asked, "So, when do you think I'll get new bike?" We promised her one of her very own if she learned how to ride. My oldest daughter asked, "So, when do you think we will get a car for me to drive?" We didn't promise anything about a car for her, but the juxtaposition of my girls' lives gives my spine that tingly feeling. My girls are growing up. They are spreading their wings and all I can really do is sit back and watch them fly.

13

Today my second daughter turns thirteen. I am now officially the mother of two teenagers. I'm not sure how I feel about that. So far, the teen years that we have already lived through with our oldest daughter have been only a little bit tedious. Sure, there have been many emotional outbursts, but at least they are not constant, and my oldest daughter has a great sense of humor. My "new" teenager might be a little different. She does not have good control of her emotions and the most common emotion she has been displaying (for the last 2 or 3 years!) has been anger. She is mad at the world and everyone living in it. On the other hand, she is a good kid when it counts, and is a superior student, so it makes it difficult to temper my interaction with her. She is great at pushing my buttons, and creating an environment that confirms (in her mind anyway) why she has a right to be mad at everyone and everything. The next few years should be quite interesting. I still have two other preteens, and have menopause lurking around the corner for me. Anyway, we will joyfully celebrate this birthday and just go with the flow with everything else that comes our way.

Teenage Driver Danger

My oldest daughter is currently learning how to drive. She was very excited about getting that learner's permit and hitting the road; that was three months ago. Yesterday, she told me that she doesn't want to drive; that yesterday was the last day she was going to do it--it's too scarey and you have to pay attention to yourself along with everyone and everything around you! Part of me wanted to say, "great!" but I know that driving is something that she is going to have to learn. Teenage drivers scare me to death. My nephew, who is fifteen months older than my daughter, got his license this summer. I worry about him. There are so many distractions and dangers that I can hardly bear the thought of my nephews and nieces and my own children driving. In one instant, a wrong, inexperienced teen aged decision could end their lives. I just have such a fear of that; it almost makes me sick. My daughter told me that she tries to remember the stories she has heard about kids getting killed because of mistakes so that she doesn't make them. My nephew told me that his friend text messages friends while he is driving and steers with his knees; and he thought it was funny. Those kinds of things scare the living sh*t out of me. It hadn't dawned on me, until now, what a big deal having a kid operating a two thousand pound hunk of metal is--extremely dangerous and foolhardy--really. But, it is also a necessary evil. There is no way around it. The way communities are set up, there really aren't many places one can walk or bike to. Public transportation is only in larger cities--no such thing exists in the suburbs or out in the middle of nowhere where we are living now. I have a little time to steel myself for the day when my daughter will actually be able to drive alone. When that day comes, I am sure I will be praying a whole lot more than I do now!

Living Through a 3-day Power Outage With a 15 Year Old

I'm surprised we survived. Three days ago, my six year old and I were driving home from a grocery store run (in the next town, of course), and were caught in some nasty weather that resulted in downed trees and powerlines--3 days without power. Thankfully, we made it home safely. Thankfully, last year I insisted that my husband purchase a generator, and thankfully, the power is back on and things will get back to normal. I would have to say that the worst part of being without power was how my 15-year-old coped (or didn't) with the inconvenience. For her, it was an emotional rollercoaster. One minute, she would be patient and would do the little things that the other girls were doing to pass the time; reading, playing games, watching shadows from candles on the wall--all that sort of stuff. The next minute, she would be railing on and on about how stupid the whole thing was; how stupid the power company is; "I hate Virginia" rants. It was difficult to live through for me because I always seem to take those sorts of things personally and think that I have to do something to "fix" it. Obviously, there is nothing to do about a power outage except wait (patiently) for it to come on. I have to remind myself that a teenager looks at her/himself as the sun and all the other planets revolve around her. That is just how they are wired, but it gets awfully tiresome and sometimes I just want to scream: "Would you just GROW UP!!!!" but of course, that's exactly what she is doing, and very normally, I might add.