Don't Mess With the Undies!

My mother-in-law is visiting this week. This week is going veerrrryyy slllowwwlllyy! Whenever she is here, I am on edge. I don't know if I should just go about my daily routine, or try to work around her and her needs. She is not an early riser--I am because I have four kids and two dogs to take care of. She eats at different times than I do, and does a lot of sitting around and gazing into space. One thing she always wants to do when she is here is the laundry. Now, I am the first to admit that the idea of having my laundry complete and folded sounds good, but the reality is that I just don't want anyone messing with my family's underwear! Not even my own mother. I just think that the state of a family's underwear is a reflection on how good a mother I am. Here is what I mean: my husband's underwear is gross and very large. Lots of stains and various sizes. I try to handle them as little as possible. My mother-in-law might think this is sign that I am neglecting her little boy. My underwear is various sizes and usually in the best condition of the family. I treasure a good fitting pair of undies and I feel violated if anyone other than me messes with them. She might think that I put my needs before everyone else's. My two oldest daughters have gross underwear. I really don't know how it ends up so ugly. I have special tongs I use to put them in the washer if they look particularly gross on any given laundry day. My next to youngest has underwear that is too small--I haven't had time to really pay attention to her stuff. I'm just glad she is wearing some! My youngest daughter, who will be nine this week, still has some underwear that is size 4 that was handed down from her older sisters. With the new puppy in the house all underwear is subject to being chewed on and some already have little holes in them. I just don't want my mother-in-law to know my struggles with underwear. To avoid her handling any of them, I got up early this morning and gathered everyone's undies and washed them, dried them, and folded them. She will surely ask if she can do some more laundry later in the week, but now I can give her kitchen towels to do if she insists. I don't think she can judge anything by doing those. . . except maybe that I sometimes wait so long to wash my kitchen stuff that I am forced to use Christmas dishtowels in the middle of September.

Climate Change Change

Yesterday I was looking back at an old blog post I had written about two years ago on another blog site. The post was written after on of my kids came home with her science textbook and a section of the book was talking about how "man" was causing polar bears to become extinct. I really didn't care for the way the book was written and I really started to think about what that particular textbook author's agenda really was.
Notice that two years later the term "global warming" is no longer used. Now we hear about "climate change" which was exactly what I wrote about in my other blog. After posting that blog that was simply stating that man cannot be blamed for every change that is happening, but certainly holds some responsibility for it, I got the nastiest, most caustic and mean comments I think I have ever had for one of my posts. Not even the infamous "Campbell's Soup Commercial" post I wrote on this site got as nasty. Anyway, I can't believe those readers were so quick to say how ignorant, arrogant, and out of touch I was because I simply stated that the earth is not a rock that never changes. It is a living, changing planet that goes through changes on its own without any regard to what man has or has not done. Many animals have died out that we have had nothing to do with. I wondered in that old post if it is our place or not to intervene. The readers who commented about that statement compared me to someone who would through a cat out of a high rise window. They made those comments because they were so convinced that they were right. They were continually bashed me for saying that humans actually do have dominion over animals and we are supposed to be good stewards of our animals and resources, but I do not believe that a polar bear's life is more important than a child's life.Those bloggers were absolutely convinced that man is evil and that animals have more rights than humans. To this day, I cannot understand that kind of thinking. Man, in general is not the enemy. Things that man has done without thinking things through, have obviously impacted the earth in a negative way, but man did not set out to pollute and corrupt the earth. The industrialization of this country was not some sort of evil plan that "man" laid out ruin the planet. That is so ridiculous. So, here we are a couple of years later. I am, at times, a little uneasy about what to blog about. Those terrible comments really hurt--even though I did not intend for what I wrote to be taken so seriously--it was just my usual pondering about things and I was ripped to shreds. I was so upset by the comments that I quit using that blog site to post anything. I also find it interesting that only two years have passed, and our terminology has changed, our sense of urgency about the polar bears' plight has cooled down, and some corruption in the scientific world concerning the truth and validity of their "global warming" facts have come to light. Again, I am not saying that we (man) are not culpable in what is happening to our natural resources. I am saying that we need to be smart about our actions in response to what we are being told about climate change and how we live our lives day to day.

Things Are Getting Pretty Slimy and I Want Out!

As I have written in a couple of previous posts, my husband and I foolishly filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in April of this year. We have started our pay back plan and as usual, there is something that is not quite jibing the way we were informed it would. For the last two paychecks, my husband has only brought home a little over $800.00. He is paid every other week, so generally there are two paychecks per month--our family of six is living off of $1600.00 per month. I use the word "living" loosely because all we have been able to do with the money is pay our utilities and buy gas for our cars so we can get to work. I have been able to purchase groceries once in the last four weeks and with four children, $174.00 worth of groceries doesn't last very long. This whole thing has taught me to be humble, that is for sure, however our plan was to leave us with just under $3000.00 per month to pay our bills and buy groceries, pay for doctor visits and those sorts of things. Somehow, though, the lawyer/trustee calculations are not matching up with my husband's deductions from his paycheck. His company is doing exactly as they have been ordered by the court, so their calculations are correct. Our lawyer was rather put out with a rather panic stricken e-mail I sent him last week informing him that we were not going to be able to pay our bills with the money that has been left for us to live on. In a nutshell, he blew me off. Every moment of every day, and all night long, my mind is stuck on how we are going to survive five years of this. Next year one of our children will be going to college and I have no idea how we will pay for it. We won't be able to get a loan, so I am left to worry about that as well. I have been praying about this mess since it all came to light in January. I do believe that prayers are heard and answered, but for me, it never seems to be fast enough. My family is falling into a slimy pit of financial disaster, and I have no solid answer to my prayers. I have a little job that pays a little, but it is only for the school year. I have made an appointment to sell my plasma--I'm trading plasma for gasoline--I feel like a mess. There is a Psalm written by the great King David that has given me a little hope. . . it goes like this: ¹

I waited patiently for the LORD;
       he turned to me and heard my cry.
 ² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
       out of the mud and mire;
       he set my feet on a rock
       and gave me a firm place to stand.
 ³ He put a new song in my mouth,
       a hymn of praise to our God.
       Many will see and fear
       and put their trust in the LORD.
 ⁴ Blessed is the man
       who makes the LORD his trust,
       who does not look to the proud,
       to those who turn aside to false gods.
 ⁵ Many, O LORD my God,
       are the wonders you have done.
       The things you planned for us
       no one can recount to you;
       were I to speak and tell of them,
       they would be too many to declare.
 ⁶ Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
       but my ears you have pierced
       burnt offerings and sin offerings
       you did not require.
 ⁷ Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
       it is written about me in the scroll. 
 ⁸ I desire to do your will, O my God;
       your law is within my heart."
 ⁹ I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
       I do not seal my lips,
       as you know, O LORD.
 ¹⁰ I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
       I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
       I do not conceal your love and your truth
       from the great assembly.
 ¹¹ Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
       may your love and your truth always protect me.
 ¹² For troubles without number surround me;
       my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
       They are more than the hairs of my head,
       and my heart fails within me.
 ¹³ Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
       O LORD, come quickly to help me.
 ¹⁴ May all who seek to take my life
       be put to shame and confusion;
       may all who desire my ruin
       be turned back in disgrace.
 ¹⁵ May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"
       be appalled at their own shame.
 ¹⁶ But may all who seek you
       rejoice and be glad in you;
       may those who love your salvation always say,
       "The LORD be exalted!"
 ¹⁷ Yet I am poor and needy;
       may the Lord think of me.
       You are my help and my deliverer;
       O my God, do not delay.

Psalm 40
I am ready to climb out of this slimy pit. I need a little good news. . .

Rediscovering Ebay

www.ebay.com

I have been a part of the ebay community for a long time. Back when my second oldest daughter was about a year old, 1996, I believe, I was a bored housewife and was poking around the internet, trying to learn more about it. I found a site that was about button collecting because I was interested in that at the time (still like buttons as a matter of fact) and I was chatting back and forth with another stay-at-homer, who liked buttons and she pointed me to this little website called "ebay" where she purchased some buttons through an online auction. At the time, I thought is seemed a little risky and very technical, but I went there anyway. I didn't tell my husband anything about it yet. The first item I decided to bid on was a set of clay marbles from the civil war--I also collect antique marbles--at that time there were no pictures showing items. You were on your own, so it seemed really risky. I bid on the marbles and got them for $10.00. I sent the guy my check and a few days later, I had my civil war era antique marbles. Only then did I decide I could tell my husband what I had discovered. Fourteen years later, what an evolution! From a tiny, picture-less auction site to the empire it is today! Unbelievable!

I am writing this post today because I have gone through a dry period in regard to eBay. I have either been too busy, or too uninterested, or like now, too financially strapped to even bother looking, however, since we are in such dire straits in terms of personal income, my husband and I have started selling things again, and eBay really is a good place to make a little money on the side if you have the time and motivation. Selling some items from his tool collection, and my selling of other various items (handmade Halloween costumes coming soon!) has at least allowed us to put gas in our car, or go out to eat once in awhile. All those years ago, who knew I would be relying on a website to help get my family through a financial nightmare. For that, I am thankful for the gal who told me about ebay and thankful that ebay has been so successful for so long!

New Book--Great Read

I just finished reading the recently published book, "Last Dog on the Hill" by Steve Duno. If you love dogs and have a heart beating inside your chest, you can't help but enjoy this book. I usually shy away from books about animals, but as a dog owner who has loved and lost a couple of really great canine friends, I decided to go for it. This book is a memoir of Mr. Duno's life with his beloved Lou the feral dog he found on a hill in California. Lou seems almost like a superhero; way too smart to believe, but even if some of the stories about Steve and this great dog are a little embellished, it is still a really good book. There is a lot of humor and a lot of sadness in the book.   Mr. Duno is a great storyteller, and it felt like we were just sitting around listening to his adventures with this amazing dog that changed his life and helped change the lives of countless dogs who were slated to be euthanized. I finished the book in tears, but I had the satisfaction of knowing that I am not alone in my utter fascination and infatuation with my  furry companions. Even though Lou seems almost too extraordinary to be true, the relationship between him and his master is enviable. We all need a friend as loyal and brave as Lou!

Fading Summer

This week all the kids are back in school. The school where I work will start up again on Monday, and it just seems like the summer went so fast! Granted, my kids get out of school before Memorial day, so their "summer" break technically started in late Spring, and school starts in late Summer; no matter, it still seems like things pass by faster and faster. I am not sure if I like that or not. In one way, it is good because when you are a kid it seems like everything takes so long! It felt like I was always waiting for some event, or holiday, or season. Now, in almost the blink of an eye, another month has passed. Now the cicadas are shrilling, the days seem dry, the sparkly, cool, blue water of the neighborhood pool has lost its thrill. Every once in awhile, my dog seems to catch a whiff of Fall caught in a hot breeze. It is all so fleeting. I am finally learning to appreciate each hour, because just like that, change is upon me, and on and on it goes. . .
 

Congratulations! You Lose!

Shortly after I wrote my last post about filing for bankruptcy, we got a letter from our lawyer. The first sentence said, "Congratulations! Your Chapter 13 bankruptcy payment plan has been confirmed! Yada, yada, yada, b*llsh*t, b*llsh*t, b*llsh*t. . . What in the hell are they congratulating us for! That has to be the most asinine  letter I have ever received. Congratulations, you now get to pay us an enormous amount of money for the next five years, live below the poverty level, and be less motivated than ever to improve you earnings--(because if you do, we will adjust your payment to an even higher level, CHA-CHING!!!!) Filing for bankruptcy can sometimes really give people relief. Sometimes people need a second chance. Sometimes people need a kick in the pants to get their act together and pay for what they want. For me, I get that we need to be "punished" for what "we" (I only was aware of some of the debt we had, the rest was hidden from me by my husband) did. Instead of trying to pay back what we owed using Consumer Credit Counseling, my husband insisted that we jump into the bankruptcy, thinking it would be a quick fix. That is him in a nutshell--everything has to be "right now." If he would have been willing to really work out a budget with CCC, we might have avoided this whole mess. It all seems too much for me, too humiliating, too stressful to see that you have absolutely no money for groceries, too scary if, God forbid, any of the six of us would have some sort of accident, or illness, we would not have any way to pay for it. Even more likely, if one of our cars had a big problem, we won't be able to get it fixed. Extra money is just not there, and there are no credit cards to fall back on. In addition to that, we cannot ask our families for help because my husband has ordered me not to tell anyone; add to that that we have to lie to our children when they want to do something extra, and we don't have the money. All of this is simply too much, and really something that I am ashamed to be going through. This should never have happened to intelligent, educated, hard-working, motivated people. If only my husband had told me the truth when I asked him if we needed to work on a budget years ago. If only, if only. . . Please heed my words, do anything you can to avoid bankruptcy. It will ruin your life!