Living With Consequences of Chapter 13 Bankruptcy

It has been a couple of months since I have written anything about our life after this whole bankruptcy mess, and now I have some more to write. Back when we were first deciding whether or not filing for bankruptcy was what we really wanted/needed to do, our lawyer said, "Just wait, you will feel so relieved when you know that every month your bills are being paid by the Trustee. . . " It has been nearly seventeen months since we filed and I have not had a day go by that I was not sick with worry about our money. I can honestly say that we are worse off today than we were one year ago. Our payment plan is so ridiculously high that we are trying to live on $1980.00. We have four children and I have to say that $1900.00 doesn't even cover our utilities and gasoline for our cars so that we can get to work. I have only been able to purchase groceries three times this summer, and every two weeks, right before payday, we invariably run out of food. It is embarrassing to admit this, but we have been getting food from a nearby church's food pantry so that we can eek by each week. I have been forced to sell my furniture (a sectional for $75.00) in order to pay for gasoline to get to work. This whole experience has been nothing like what our attorney led us to believe. We have tried twice to have our payment plan modified so that we can afford food, monthly medication for my husband and one of my daughters, and utilities, but both times we have been denied. Our lawyer seems to be unable to tell us where he is getting the numbers he is throwing out to us, he refuses to go through our schedule I and J line by line so that we can see how our numbers compare to what the Trustee has. He insists that his hands are tied because the Trustee believes we have $3800.00 per month left after our payment to her for our living expenses. I am no math whiz, but I know that $1980.00 does not equal $3800.00. Our attorney cannot seem to come up with an answer for why there is such a discrepancy. He also is unable to tell us exactly why the Trustee objects to our requests. He also has failed to tell us why she took over our mortgage and car payment at the first meeting since we were not in arrears on either payment, and wanted to continue to pay those two items ourselves. There are so many things about this situation that are frustrating. We can't seem to get anywhere with it, and in the meantime, my kids are going to be hungry, meds are not given and we are all dying a slow death.

Seven Years Ago, My Friend Was Found Dead

Seven years ago today, one of my best friends was found dead in her apartment. If she were alive today, she would be forty-nine years old. I wonder what we would be like now.Hopefully, we would still be calling each other to vent, laugh, and wonder about things.  Her life was not easy, but I bet if she would have lived, things would have become much better for her. I miss her and think about her everyday. I wish I could get the answers I am looking for about the mystery surrounding both her life and her death. I will probably keep searching for the truth for a very long time. I am worried that I will forget the important details needed to solve the puzzle of who she really was and why she actually died. I wish I could have one more chance to talk to her. If I could have had that seven years ago, she might still be around. R.I.P., Kaitlyn.