Do you remember the song entitled "Carefully Taught" from the musical "South Pacific? I was reminded of that song recently, but not necessarily because of the lesson about racism that the song is trying to give. One of my daughters is at that funny age of fourteen; and by funny, I don't mean funny ha-ha, I mean funny weird. Anyway, she is in a group of "friends" that I find quite fascinating. These girls are all from similar, upper-middle class families, but boy are they different in what they have been taught! These girls are all assigned to the same lunch table, so they eat together everyday. My daughter was the "new girl" last Spring when we moved back to this area after living out of state for a couple of years. My daughter got reacquainted with several of her former buddies and has become friends with some new girls as well. Some of these girls are nice and some are rather unpleasant, but that is life, so I have told my daughter that she just needs to be kind to everyone; she doesn't have to be best friends with everyone, however. I have taught, and continue to teach her that all people matter.
Here is the thing that reminded me of the song, and it really doesn't have anything to do with the racism theme, but rather the "carefully taught" theme. This group of lunch girls decided that they were going to do the "Secret Santa" activity among the girls at their table. They all put their names in a hat and drew out a name. My daughter got the name of a girl she doesn't really know very well, but she took it upon herself to ask one of her closer friends about what this girl would like to get as a small gift. There is another girl at this table whom my daughter knew before we moved and we are well acquainted with her parents (her dad delivered my youngest daughter when she was born). In fact, I even know this girl's uncle, and my parents know her grandparents. I thought they were pretty decent people, however, the more I learn about this girl, the more I wonder about how much and what her parents are teaching her. It seems a minor thing, but this girl told the other girls that my daughter and one other girl should be left out of the gift exchange because "no one knows them." Really? How rude and mean can a kid get? At this age especially, being singled out as different or not as good is devastating! What in the world are her parents teaching her? That only she counts? Only people whom she deems worthy count? If this girl is like this at the age of fourteen, what is she going to be like at 17 or as adult? This kind of "me first, me only" attitude that people are teaching their children either by words or example is very troubling to me. What is the world going to be like when all these kids are adults? It scares me to death! I know I am not the only parent who is trying to teach my children to be kind, tactful, and considerate to all people, but it seems that parents like me are getting hard to find. Am I alone here? Does anyone else believe that children must be "carefully taught?"
1 comment:
It is the responsibility of older people to provide good examples for younger people. We provide the nurture; they provide the nature; and so new people grow.
If the me-only crowd winds up ascendent over those who think of others, we will not HAVE a society, or quite possibly even a world. Societies take work to maintain; if people don't do that work, the society comes apart at the seams, fragmenting down to chaos and anarchy. (See history for examples.) And if we don't take good care of our planet, it may well cook us off and start over. (See fossil record for examples.)
If people don't teach their children to be careful, nothing else is going to matter.
Post a Comment