It's the Thought That Counts, But. . . .

I know by now I really shouldn't have such high expectations about gift-giving from my husband. We have been married for twenty years, and I can honestly say that he has never given me a gift, either for Christmas or my birthday, I that I actually wanted, asked for or was pleased with. I should just not have any expectations and then maybe one of these years, he will get something really great. It seems he always loses his mind when it comes to giving me a gift. We have been together for 21 years, we have four children and we talk about our likes and dislikes all the time. I just don't get why he gives me gifts that he wouldn't even give a stranger. This year, I should have expected something was amiss when he kept insisting my food chopper was broken. It isn't and I had no desire or need to replace it, but every time I was in the kitchen, he kept trying to get me to say it was broken. I thought it was strange, but didn't think he was trying to send some sort of subliminal message to me to make me say I needed another one. Sure enough, one of my presents from him was another chopper. Very weird. The other puzzler of a gift was two cardboard boxes. You know, the kind people who do that scrapbooking stuff use to organize their pictures? I'm really just guessing about that because I truthfully don't know what people do with those boxes. Sometimes those kind of boxes are very pretty and could be used for other things, but the boxes I got aren't pretty at all. Just sort of beige. That was a real head scratcher. My daughter was with him when he bought those things, and she asked him why he was buying that stuff and he didn't answer her. She told him she didn't think any of the items were all that useful to me, but deferred to his wishes; as we all do for fear of his angry outbursts.

I don't want to sound selfish. Really it would be better if he wouldn't try to give me anything at all because at least I wouldn't have to be embarrassed about trying to act like I like them. It is a terrible position to be put in. I dream about getting a nice pair of pajamas, or slippers, or a sweater, or socks--anything but a kitchen gadget! For twenty years I have tried to help him give me something that isn't a waste of money. I have told him outright what to get, I have written things down, I have asked the girls to guide him to what would be a good gift, all to no avail. He just wants to give these strange and awful things. Oh, I almost forgot, he did give me something kind of, well, good, I guess. I got a complete set of "Barney Miller" episodes. I really do need to lower my expectations!

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Bonnie Hunt Show Canceled!

I'm in shock! I just read that "The Bonnie Hunt Show" has not been renewed for a third season! I just don't understand the thinking these companies (Warner Brothers, for this one) base their decisions on. Bonnie Hunt is the only show I watch regularly in the morning. They claim the reason it is not being picked up for a third season is because of low ratings. That may be true, but one has to look at the time of day the show is on. There isn't anything on other than her show, and nowadays there aren't that many people who are home in the morning and early afternoon. Why can't they just leave it on? What will replace it? Dead air? That totally annoying "Let's Make A Deal" show should be canceled because there is no redeeming quality in that show.

Bonnie Hunt seems to never catch a break. Every television show she has tried has been canceled, and I don't think it is because she isn't very good; it's just that the production companies don't want to give it time. They just want to make money over providing good, quality shows for people to watch. If you take a look at her show's website, it seems like it is a very popular show. I wish there was something loyal viewers could do to save the show. I know other shows that have been canceled have been brought back after viewers protested. Any of my readers who enjoy her show, let's start a writing campaign to keep Bonnie on the air!

Zhu Zhu Pets

Once again, one of my kids wants a toy that is impossible to get. This year, one of my daughters wants a Zhu Zhu Pets toy. Actually, I was a little smarter this year than in past years and purchased some extra Zhu Zhu Pets items when I was buying my daughter's birthday gifts, however, I was outsmarted by that little stinker, because she wants the Zhu Zhu Pets hamster car for Christmas and that was about the only piece of the set I didn't get. Our local Toys R Us store hasn't had any zhu zhu toys in weeks. I have been trying to bid on a car on Ebay for awhile now, but I always seem to be outbid. This craziness happens to me every year with at least one of my kids. We have lived through the original Tickle Me Elmo (I still have that) frenzy, the Furbies mess, the 3 foot tall dollhouse that was nowhere to be found, the Cozy Coupe craze, and of course the Wii Fit silliness from last year. The thing that is the most difficult about not being able to find a certain wished-for toy is that my kids always believed (my youngest still believes) that even though I might not be able to find it in the store, Santa will be able to bring it. They just don't make life easy, do they? Anyway, I'm not too worried about not finding the car. I still have a couple of hamsters and a wheel, and a little sleeping bag thing. Santa is bringing something much cooler than Zhu Zhu pets anyway.

You Have to be Carefully Taught

Do you remember the song entitled "Carefully Taught" from the musical "South Pacific? I was reminded of that song recently, but not necessarily because of the lesson about racism that the song is trying to give. One of my daughters is at that funny age of fourteen; and by funny, I don't mean funny ha-ha, I mean funny weird. Anyway, she is in a group of "friends" that I find quite fascinating. These girls are all from similar, upper-middle class families, but boy are they different in what they have been taught! These girls are all assigned to the same lunch table, so they eat together everyday. My daughter was the "new girl" last Spring when we moved back to this area after living out of state for a couple of years. My daughter got reacquainted with several of her former buddies and has become friends with some new girls as well. Some of these girls are nice and some are rather unpleasant, but that is life, so I have told my daughter that she just needs to be kind to everyone; she doesn't have to be best friends with everyone, however. I have taught, and continue to teach her that all people matter.

Here is the thing that reminded me of the song, and it really doesn't have anything to do with the racism theme, but rather the "carefully taught" theme. This group of lunch girls decided that they were going to do the "Secret Santa" activity among the girls at their table. They all put their names in a hat and drew out a name. My daughter got the name of a girl she doesn't really know very well, but she took it upon herself to ask one of her closer friends about what this girl would like to get as a small gift. There is another girl at this table whom my daughter knew before we moved and we are well acquainted with her parents (her dad delivered my youngest daughter when she was born). In fact, I even know this girl's uncle, and my parents know her grandparents. I thought they were pretty decent people, however, the more I learn about this girl, the more I wonder about how much and what her parents are teaching her. It seems a minor thing, but this girl told the other girls that my daughter and one other girl should be left out of the gift exchange because "no one knows them." Really? How rude and mean can a kid get? At this age especially, being singled out as different or not as good is devastating! What in the world are her parents teaching her? That only she counts? Only people whom she deems worthy count? If this girl is like this at the age of fourteen, what is she going to be like at 17 or as adult? This kind of "me first, me only" attitude that people are teaching their children either by words or example is very troubling to me. What is the world going to be like when all these kids are adults? It scares me to death! I know I am not the only parent who is trying to teach my children to be kind, tactful, and considerate to all people, but it seems that parents like me are getting hard to find. Am I alone here? Does anyone else believe that children must be "carefully taught?"