Things Are Getting Pretty Slimy and I Want Out!

As I have written in a couple of previous posts, my husband and I foolishly filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in April of this year. We have started our pay back plan and as usual, there is something that is not quite jibing the way we were informed it would. For the last two paychecks, my husband has only brought home a little over $800.00. He is paid every other week, so generally there are two paychecks per month--our family of six is living off of $1600.00 per month. I use the word "living" loosely because all we have been able to do with the money is pay our utilities and buy gas for our cars so we can get to work. I have been able to purchase groceries once in the last four weeks and with four children, $174.00 worth of groceries doesn't last very long. This whole thing has taught me to be humble, that is for sure, however our plan was to leave us with just under $3000.00 per month to pay our bills and buy groceries, pay for doctor visits and those sorts of things. Somehow, though, the lawyer/trustee calculations are not matching up with my husband's deductions from his paycheck. His company is doing exactly as they have been ordered by the court, so their calculations are correct. Our lawyer was rather put out with a rather panic stricken e-mail I sent him last week informing him that we were not going to be able to pay our bills with the money that has been left for us to live on. In a nutshell, he blew me off. Every moment of every day, and all night long, my mind is stuck on how we are going to survive five years of this. Next year one of our children will be going to college and I have no idea how we will pay for it. We won't be able to get a loan, so I am left to worry about that as well. I have been praying about this mess since it all came to light in January. I do believe that prayers are heard and answered, but for me, it never seems to be fast enough. My family is falling into a slimy pit of financial disaster, and I have no solid answer to my prayers. I have a little job that pays a little, but it is only for the school year. I have made an appointment to sell my plasma--I'm trading plasma for gasoline--I feel like a mess. There is a Psalm written by the great King David that has given me a little hope. . . it goes like this: ¹

I waited patiently for the LORD;
       he turned to me and heard my cry.
 ² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
       out of the mud and mire;
       he set my feet on a rock
       and gave me a firm place to stand.
 ³ He put a new song in my mouth,
       a hymn of praise to our God.
       Many will see and fear
       and put their trust in the LORD.
 ⁴ Blessed is the man
       who makes the LORD his trust,
       who does not look to the proud,
       to those who turn aside to false gods.
 ⁵ Many, O LORD my God,
       are the wonders you have done.
       The things you planned for us
       no one can recount to you;
       were I to speak and tell of them,
       they would be too many to declare.
 ⁶ Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
       but my ears you have pierced
       burnt offerings and sin offerings
       you did not require.
 ⁷ Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
       it is written about me in the scroll. 
 ⁸ I desire to do your will, O my God;
       your law is within my heart."
 ⁹ I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
       I do not seal my lips,
       as you know, O LORD.
 ¹⁰ I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
       I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
       I do not conceal your love and your truth
       from the great assembly.
 ¹¹ Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
       may your love and your truth always protect me.
 ¹² For troubles without number surround me;
       my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
       They are more than the hairs of my head,
       and my heart fails within me.
 ¹³ Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
       O LORD, come quickly to help me.
 ¹⁴ May all who seek to take my life
       be put to shame and confusion;
       may all who desire my ruin
       be turned back in disgrace.
 ¹⁵ May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"
       be appalled at their own shame.
 ¹⁶ But may all who seek you
       rejoice and be glad in you;
       may those who love your salvation always say,
       "The LORD be exalted!"
 ¹⁷ Yet I am poor and needy;
       may the Lord think of me.
       You are my help and my deliverer;
       O my God, do not delay.

Psalm 40
I am ready to climb out of this slimy pit. I need a little good news. . .