Thinking of Filing for Bankruptcy? DON'T!

If you are currently considering filing for a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, my simple advice to you is this: DO NOT DO IT! Without going into the stupid, gory details of my own ridiculous situation, let me tell you a few things I have learned.

1. Do not trust lawyers. They may think their intentions are good and noble. "I love helping people like you get out of situations like this!" That is good, old-fashioned bull crap. The lawyer is there for one reason, and that is to make money.


2. Do not trust the initial calculations for the "repayment plan." It looks very "do-able" in the beginning, but, as in our case a $1200.00 per month payment plan has now been tinkered with by the lawyer and the trustee so much that the monthly payment is $6000.00. We will now be living below the poverty level for a family of six, but we will not qualify for any school lunch or other assistance.

3. Do not believe for one minute that anyone (your lawyer, the trustee, the judge etc.) is on your side.

4. Do not expect that anything will be done quickly or easily. Everything ends up in turmoil.

5. Do not expect that you and your spouse will ever be the same after this. It is an enormous strain, especially if one spouse has incurred most of the debt.

6. Try to do everything you do with cash only.

7. Pray every during every available minute that a miracle will happen for you.

If there is any possible way for you to avoid filing for bankruptcy (either Chapter 13 or 7) please, please consider it! Bankruptcy sucks and it is ruining what should have been a wonderful life.

Getting My Fix From Somewhere Else

I just don't know what it is, but I just can't stop playing computer games. A few years ago, I purchased a computer game, Mah Jong Medley from Game House. My goal was to play and solve (i.e. win) each of the puzzle configurations. Things were going along at a good clip until I played the "Night Vision" configuration. I swear I tried to clear those tiles for YEARS! I'm not kidding, either. Then one day, I went to play my game, and my dear husband had decided that "all" my games (I think I had about 3 or 4) were taking up too much space, so he deleted them, and for some reason, I could not reload them on either computer even though I had paid for them. At any rate, I have to admit that I was rather lost without my addiction. I had to find a solution that didn't cost anything and didn't take up space on the computer. It took me awhile, but I discovered the Publisher's Clearing House games site. There are lots of games there--several Mah Jong ones, card games, arcades, sports, you name it and it is probably there. The only drawback, for me is that you have to endure the endless loops of 20 second ads between games. Anyway, I have been playing Maj Jongg Dimensions as well as a couple card games, and that seems to be satisfying my addiction. It is strange how those little games keep calling you back! If you want to play a few (not all of them are great, by the way) go to www.pchgames.com and see if you can kill an hour or two uh three, uh some time!

Funny How Things Change

I  was at the pool the other day, watching my kids swim when one of my neighbors came over and sat next to me. As moms do at these outdoor adventures, we settled in, and while keeping one eye on our kids, we started talking. After talking about a wide variety of topics, we landed on one that I have been pondering for days now. I have been married for a long time (almost 21 years) and this gal has been married for at least ten, and we were commiserating about how our relationships with our husbands have changed over the years. When a person first meets and starts dating someone, it seems they just can't get enough of each other. I remember going out on  dates with my husband, then coming home and calling him on the phone and talking until we both fell asleep. After we got married, we were both working and couldn't wait to get home to spend time with each other. Next, the babies started coming, and I couldn't wait for my husband to get home to give me some relief and to have someone to talk to. When the kids got a little older, I made a little more of my own "groove". The house was run a certain way during the day, and when dad came home, all attention turned to him. I liked having him around, and I enjoyed hiring a babysitter and going out on dates with him.

Oh my how things have changed! I still care about my husband, and enjoy talking to him most of the time, and I certainly would enjoy it if he would ask me out on a date, but things are a lot different than they used to be! I look forward to the work week so I can have a little peace around the house. I rather like it when my husband calls and says he will be home late. I really like it when he calls and says he has to out of town on a business trip for a few days. I feel different now. I am more confidant, and long for relationships with other people. Often times, my husband comes home and immediately starts yelling at the kids and complaining about the state the house is in (after a day at the pool, I have to admit, no housework gets done!). If he doesn't come storming in spewing out orders, he comes in sullen and silent. Either way, it is uncomfortable and no one wants to be around him. He often complains that no one is interested in him and no one listens to what he says. I am afraid to point out that neither yelling nor sullen behavior attracts any of us to him. He seems to want things both ways: he wants quiet time to unwind from work ("leave me alone") and at the same time wants everyone to lavish attention and affection on him. It is very confusing. It seems that the more time I spend with him, the less I enjoy his company. I believe there is something to the old sayings that go like this: "familiarity breeds contempt" and "absence makes the heart grow fonder."  They are opposites, but are really what my life is all about right now.

Luck, Good Fortune, Blessings?

I have been hearing about the woman who has won the Texas lottery four times. It seems so unlikely that one person could have so much good fortune! There is also Helene Handsell, who has also won just about every lottery and sweepstakes she has ever entered. She is known as "the winning Sage" and has written a book about how to be a winner. I am not sure I believe in luck, but these two women would appear to be very lucky people. It is a mystery to me how some people just seem to have good things happen to them, but one thing is not a mystery, and that is that these women were willing to take a chance to  win. They didn't just sit around wishing for good things, they went out and bought lottery tickets, and sent in sweepstakes entries--most likely just for the fun of taking a chance. I know it seems foolish, at times, to take remote chances, but if you are not going to put your life or your family's well-being at risk, why not?  It certainly is better than sitting around being miserable and wondering why "Lady Luck" or God or whomever you believe in isn't paying attention to you. I could absolutely use a little (a lot!!!) extra cash, and am willing to take some chances on winning. Luck, fortune, blessings. . . I am read to let any or all of them into my life!!!!

Vacation is Finally Over!

My husband has been on vacation for the last eleven days. I think this has been the longest eleven days I have ever lived through. It wasn't that it was awful, but it was just all about him, and I wanted it to be that way. Throughout our twenty-year marriage, my husband has always complained that I don't give him enough attention. In that regard, I believe he is right. It just isn't in me to lavish attention on him--it's not my personality. I am not a touchy-feely person either, so that bugs him as well. Anyway, I decided that we would do anything and everything he wanted to do, and I would put very few demands on him. He got almost everything he wanted for the past eleven days. I hope he can reflect on it and appreciate the gift that was given to him because it wasn't easy! During these eleven days, I realized something about my own life, and that is that I will never get a "vacation" like this one my husband had. I have to be the most boring person in the world, because even if I had had the opportunity to say what I wanted to do, I wouldn't have been able to come up with anything. Really, all I want is to not have to do laundry, not have to plan meals, not have to clean up after anyone, and just be left alone for awhile. I don't want  some big, hairy guy pawing at me every night; I just want to be left alone. I just want to be. I want to loll around on clean, cool sheets. I want to just sit and stare out at the horizon. I want to eat when, where and what I want. I want to watch the television shows I want, and read as late into the night as I please. I want to go shopping--window shopping--for anything but antique hand tools. These are the things that would make me happy. I don't have any idea when or if I will have the opportunity for a vacation that is all about me, but if I would be so lucky as to have eleven days all to myself, I would enjoy every boring minute of it!