Hoover Platinum Series Upright is a Royal Pain

I hate to complain about products on my blog, but I'm going to do it today anyway. About a year and a half ago I needed a vacuum. I researched different products and prices and found one (the Platinum series bagged upright) that I thought would be an excellent buy and exactly what I needed. Unfortunately, I was wrong. The vacuum is lightweight and has a high and low setting, and has a heavy duty, large bag--all of these things are great about it, but the one thing that the company must have thought would be a good thing, is what is driving me and everyone else who uses it in my home, crazy. There is this little feature that turns the machine off if something it things is bad passes under the brush. You know when you get too close to a shoelace, or yarn and it gets all twisted onto the spinning brush? On most of my machines, if this happens, I have to turn it off or else the brush will keep spinning and spinning and will over heat and melt the drive belt or something. Or maybe the whole vacuum could explode or something, I really don't know. I just know that it can mess up your vacuum. So, this Hoover Platinum series vacuum touts a little component that trips if it thinks you've got ahold of somthing that is going to get caught up in the brush. The only problem is that this thing trips all the time! One little crumb on the carpet and it turns off. One piece of fuzz and the thing turns off. One small bump of the machine into the wall and it turns off. What a pain! I talk and swear at this vacuum constantly. The really sad thing is that it really does a good job of vacuuming when it decides to do the work. If you are looking for a new vacuum, my advice would be to stay away from the Hoover Platinum Series Upright unless you have the patience of Job and nerves of steel. It just isn't worth the $200+ pricetag and the frustration.

Back to "Normal"

Finally there is a little peace in my house. My husband has gone back to work after a week long vacation, the kids are back at school today, and, at last I have a little peace and quiet this morning. Don't get me wrong, I like the holidays and having some company and everything, but it really is stressful to have a house full of people. Having four kids, two dogs, and two birds all the time, you would think having extra people in the house wouldn't be that big of a deal, but it is. Our house is routinely a loud, messy place, but the change in routine messes me up. Even having my husband home on holidays throws me off a bit, and usually makes me grumpy. All normalcy goes out the window when he is home. He is one of the biggest mess-makers there is. He also likes to be pampered and catered to when he is home which is something I have a low tolerance for. I get so resentful because I am the only one doing any work. I never get a "vacation." The regular running of a household must continue whether there is a break from work and school or not. The household responsibilities fall squarely on my shoulders and it gets to me sometimes. For just one day, I would like to be responsibility free, and by that I mean not having to do any of my usual chores. For the last 21 years, if I happen to  spend time away from home shopping or something else, when I come home, there is a mess left for me to clean up. The girls and I went to church yesterday and when we left, my husband was sitting in his pajamas staring at the computer. I left the bed unmade, the dishwasher unemptied, the carpet unvacuumed, and the dogs had the run of the house. Guess what I walked into when I got home a couple of hours later? That's right, the same damn mess that was there when I left, so I promptly got to work doing stuff I really don't want to do on a Sunday afternoon. My husband said yesterday that he is going to invite his mother, sister and nephew to our house for Christmas. I can hardly wait! I think turnabout is fair play, so I will leave the meal planning and preparation, the cleaning and supervising all to him. After all, I think I deserve a little break after entertaining my family this past week.

On the Hunt (for Bonnie)

I am missing my Bonnie. Bonnie Hunt, that is. Ever since the powers that be decided to stop taping her show, I have been lost. I have been forced into watching the "Rachel Ray" show, and then that stupidest of morning time killers, "Let's Make a Deal." I know, I know, I'm not really being forced to watch anything, and many times I choose not to turn on the television in the morning when I am getting ready for work (I work in the afternoon). Rachel Ray is okay, I guess, but she is so loud and it feels like she is using her voice as a weapon. The show is also such a weird mix of cooking and serious subjects that I just don't enjoy it all that much. Rachel is lacking that sharp as a tack sense of humor that Bonnie has. Also, Bonnie just seems like me. Like we could be instant friends, I don't get that feeling from Rachel Ray, she is a bit too harsh for me. That other waste of time I mentioned, "Let's Make a Deal" is such a cheap show. The contestants should never take anything other than the sure thing because they almost always lose. The show is just too cheap (unlike "The Price is Right"--which I do sort of like) and cheesy. Anyway, I really, really miss you Bonnie! Your mom and Don and all the gang too. Where are you? What projects are you working on? How is Charlie? I miss you!!!

So Many Unknowns

Yesterday I wrote a post about how this Chapter 13 bankruptcy is slowly killing me, and it truly is, I think. I have so many unanswered questions and the lawyer is not very helpful. Most of the information I have found out by searching on the internet and from the free webinar from Stephen Snyder, but it seems that most of the information out there is in regard to Chapter 7 bankruptcies. I have no idea what I should be doing now to rebuild my credit. On of the things Stephen Snyder says to do is to get a prepaid Visa or MasterCard, but there is no way I can do that because you have to have money to deposit into that Visa or MasterCard. All of our money is going to the trustee and what little is leftover pays for a few groceries, gasoline and essentials for my kids. It seems to me that people who file Chapter 7--who walk away without being required to pay back anything-- have more options than people like me who are trying to do the right thing and trying to pay back as much as possible. To make me feel even worse, that awful trustee looked me in the eye and said that if I couldn't prove that I was giving money to my church, then she would have to raise our monthly payment even more. Since we have begun payments to the trustee (nearly $6000 per month), I have been unable to give much to my church on any regular basis. If the money is in my wallet, I put it in the plate. Our lawyer said that if you want to just not give money to the church and save it for a vacation (what a joke!) then no one would even question it. I am so discouraged. We made a mistake, and are trying to do the right thing, but we are never going to recover at this rate. If anyone out there has any good, true knowledge about rebuilding credit while in a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, please let me know!

This is Killing Me!

I noticed that it has been almost a month since I have last written a post. There was a time when I was spitting out at least one new post a week. It seems this bankruptcy thing is sucking every last bit of life out of me. I have noticed lately that I just don't enjoy anything the way I used to. It feels like I am in jail and am serving at least a five year sentence. Every minute of every day, I am worried about money, and if we are going to make it to the next paycheck. This is no way to live my life. I keep trying to change my thinking about this, but I just get so bogged down with worry. With the holidays coming up, there is even more worry. I have already told the girls  there won't be much gift giving this year. After the payment to the trustee, there is only enough money to buy a few groceries. On weeks that there are other expenses like lunch money or clothes, I really sweat it. It is no longer fun to think about having all the family over for Thanksgiving. All I can think about is how much more money  I am going to have to spend, not only on the extra food items, but on extra toilet paper, our water bill will be higher, our electric bill will go up, so will our heating bill. All of these things are now worrisome to me. Before, I was just so happy to have everyone over, having a good time, now the joy is gone. Everything seems like a joke to me. I need to have my carpets cleaned, and our truck needs a little work. Our mattress needs to be replaced, and before this stupid bankruptcy, we would have been able to get all these little things taken care of. My husband said that we should just get a mattress that would count for Christmas, Anniversary, and birthday gifts to each other. Well, that's a nice idea, but there isn't money for any of those gifts now and there won't be any later, there is never any leftover money to even put in our savings, so saying something like that, to me, is just meaningless. There just isn't any point in planning on anything. The best I can do is pay the bills we have, scrape up enough to buy groceries and hope to God nothing catastrophic happens. Again, if you are considering filing for bankruptcy, my advice is to do anything possible, check into any alternative you can, before filing--this is hell and it is killing me slowly.

Sexy Halloween?

Sexy Cookie Monster

Has anyone noticed the slow change in Halloween celebrations and costumes? Everything is sexy this, and sexy that. I took two of my daughters out this past weekend to look at costumes, and I actually saw a "Sexy Cookie Monster" costume!! Really? The costume consisted of a blue furry hat thing a dress and thigh high blue hose. Who thought of that? Not only are the costumes getting racier, they are also extremely expensive! A "sexy" candy corn witch costume was $49.99. Who out there thinks candy corn is sexy??? Halloween used to be all about kids having fun and neighbors gathering and spending time making costumes and having bonfires, bobbing for apples (which I guess is now pretty much taboo because of evil germs!) Sexy? I just don't get it. I was actually glad I didn't bring my youngest daughter to the store with me that day. Everything was so gross and sleazy! I have always made my daughters' costumes, but this year I happen to actually have a job, so my time is a little more limited. I gave in to the idea of getting store bought costumes. I regret that thought. I think we will be resurrecting, and reworking some costumes I have already made. I don't want my daughters walking around in "sexy" costumes. What is our world coming to?

My myLot

I have just rediscovered a little site I used a few years ago to earn a little bit of extra cash. I don't remember the reason I stopped using it, but I was recently reacquainted with the site, and now I remember that it was kind of fun. It is a little bit like Facebook, but it is all about discussion and participation. The more you participate, the more you can earn. Like Facebook, it can really eat up a lot of your time if you let it, but it is easy to justify your time spent on myLot because you are earning a little bit of money. I am not saying that you will get rich, but having $10.00 a month put in your PayPal account is not a bad thing. These days, for me, 10 bucks is quite a treat!

www.mylot.com/?ref=Chickenscratch

After Bankruptcy

As I have written about before, my husband and I filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in April of this year. So far, it has caused us nothing but humiliation and heartache. There has not been that feeling of: "Ah. . I'm so relived. . ." We are paying a huge amount to try to pay back as much as we possibly can to our debtors. We have been treated like we are lepers and imbeciles, so it has not been an easy road so far. I really didn't expect that it would be, but I thought that I would have some sort of feeling of relief. That has yet to manifest. I have nothing but worry right now. My husband and I did, however attend a web seminar ("webinar") that we received an invitation for. The invitation came from Stephen Snyder who has spent the last 15 years trying to make bankrupt people feel better and come out of bankruptcy stronger. Mr. Snyder is the head of his After Bankruptcy Foundation, and is trained by the Fair Isaac Corporation (FICO). I had my doubts about Mr. Snyder, but the seminar was helpful, albeit long--4 hours! I did a little research on Stephen Snyder and found out that he is from my hometown of Goshen and graduated from high school the same year I did. Our high schools were "cross-town" rivals. How bad can a guy be who hails from a small Indiana town, and actually still lives in a small Indiana town. He is legit, and if you are struggling with life after your bankruptcy, I would highly recommend connecting with Stephen Snyder. Most of the things he talked about didn't really apply to my husband and I because we were not in arrears on any of or our bills, there is no foreclosure, no judgements or liens against us, we just were buried in credit card debt and a huge IRS bill. While I still think we could have worked things out without the complication and consequences of bankruptcy, our life now is what it is--Stephen Snyder sort of put things in perspective and assured us that life does go on, and you can emerge from it a better person. If you need help or want to participate in one of Stephen Snyder's workshops, here is his website https://www.afterbankruptcy.com/. Good luck, and please feel free to leave your comments here.

Another Kick in the Butt

I have written before about this stupid bankruptcy decision we made several months ago. Things just keep getting worse. This has to be one of the worst decisions we ever made! What is happening now is that the car I drive is leased. The lease will be up in a few months, and, according to our lawyer, we are "allowed" to lease a car without going through getting permission from the Trustee. We cannot purchase a car without first getting the okay from the Trustee. We have been getting some fliers and correspondence in the mail about turning in our lease and getting something else. It would be a few months early, but whatever. We thought that maybe we could turn our car in and lease another for a much smaller monthly payment. Anything we can do to help our budget, we are willing to do. So, off we went to the car dealership. We do the little dance you have to do with car salesmen, and then we tell him that our credit stinks and that we are in an active bankruptcy. The salesman didn't really seem shocked or anything and he said, "Well, we work with a lot of folks who have bad credit, so I will talk to our sales manager and see what we can do." I thought, "Gee, for once, things might work out well for us." I thought wrong. The salesman came back (very quickly, I might add) and said that no bank would touch us and that we should just keep the car and turn it in when the lease is up. I can totally understand the car dealership's position, but for us, things won't be any different a few months from now. We will still have the active bankruptcy, and we will still be turning the car in. I am now assuming that when the lease is up, we won't be in any better position to lease another one. It all feels so awful. We are failures! No matter what we try to do, we get bad news, bad results. It feels like we are lepers. Thankfully, my 1974 Ford pick-up truck is running pretty well and my husband's car is in good condition. We will use the truck until it can't be used anymore, and after that, who knows? This is all so humiliating!

If I Hear It One More Time. . .

I hate to still be on the mother-in-law kick, but I swear, if I hear: "What are you fixing for dinner?", "Have you ever made it before?" and "Can I help?" I think my head is going to explode! I don't like it when my kids ask me what I am making for dinner. Usually when they come up with that gem of a question, I answer: "Shit on a stick." That really wouldn't be a very nice thing to say to my mother-in-law though. Every meal I have made this week, she has asked if I have made it before. Even my kids have noticed that she has asked that. I just don't understand the purpose of the question. What difference does it make? Does she think I am going to try out a new recipe on her? I happen to be a pretty good cook, so she really doesn't have any reason to be concerned. I don't cook the same things she did for her family, and to be honest, I never would. I do use some of her recipes when cooking for my family, but I grew up on casseroles, and soups and fondue and experiments my mother used to come up with. My mother-in-law is Italian and her meals consist of breaded meat of some kind, bread, and some kind of pasta, and maybe a salad. That is it. No casseroles, no creativity involved. Half of the time I make something, I don't have the right ingredients so I have to use a substitute, and very often I wing it. While she is here, I usually stick to the tried and true stuff and I make sure I have everything I need. I just feel so weird and a little bit offended when she keeps asking the same question every day. I always give her a very polite "Yes" when answering her, but inside my head, I am screaming "I'm experimenting with arsenic this evening, won't you try some?" As to the last daily question, "Can I help?" Not sure why she asks me that. I think she thinks she has to, but I in my opinion, having someone (anyone, not just her) messing around in my kitchen is not any help. They don't know where anything is and do things differently than I do, so I just don't need that slowing me down. Anyway, she leaves on Sunday, and the Sabbath can't get here soon enough! I'm exhausted!

Don't Mess With the Undies!

My mother-in-law is visiting this week. This week is going veerrrryyy slllowwwlllyy! Whenever she is here, I am on edge. I don't know if I should just go about my daily routine, or try to work around her and her needs. She is not an early riser--I am because I have four kids and two dogs to take care of. She eats at different times than I do, and does a lot of sitting around and gazing into space. One thing she always wants to do when she is here is the laundry. Now, I am the first to admit that the idea of having my laundry complete and folded sounds good, but the reality is that I just don't want anyone messing with my family's underwear! Not even my own mother. I just think that the state of a family's underwear is a reflection on how good a mother I am. Here is what I mean: my husband's underwear is gross and very large. Lots of stains and various sizes. I try to handle them as little as possible. My mother-in-law might think this is sign that I am neglecting her little boy. My underwear is various sizes and usually in the best condition of the family. I treasure a good fitting pair of undies and I feel violated if anyone other than me messes with them. She might think that I put my needs before everyone else's. My two oldest daughters have gross underwear. I really don't know how it ends up so ugly. I have special tongs I use to put them in the washer if they look particularly gross on any given laundry day. My next to youngest has underwear that is too small--I haven't had time to really pay attention to her stuff. I'm just glad she is wearing some! My youngest daughter, who will be nine this week, still has some underwear that is size 4 that was handed down from her older sisters. With the new puppy in the house all underwear is subject to being chewed on and some already have little holes in them. I just don't want my mother-in-law to know my struggles with underwear. To avoid her handling any of them, I got up early this morning and gathered everyone's undies and washed them, dried them, and folded them. She will surely ask if she can do some more laundry later in the week, but now I can give her kitchen towels to do if she insists. I don't think she can judge anything by doing those. . . except maybe that I sometimes wait so long to wash my kitchen stuff that I am forced to use Christmas dishtowels in the middle of September.

Climate Change Change

Yesterday I was looking back at an old blog post I had written about two years ago on another blog site. The post was written after on of my kids came home with her science textbook and a section of the book was talking about how "man" was causing polar bears to become extinct. I really didn't care for the way the book was written and I really started to think about what that particular textbook author's agenda really was.
Notice that two years later the term "global warming" is no longer used. Now we hear about "climate change" which was exactly what I wrote about in my other blog. After posting that blog that was simply stating that man cannot be blamed for every change that is happening, but certainly holds some responsibility for it, I got the nastiest, most caustic and mean comments I think I have ever had for one of my posts. Not even the infamous "Campbell's Soup Commercial" post I wrote on this site got as nasty. Anyway, I can't believe those readers were so quick to say how ignorant, arrogant, and out of touch I was because I simply stated that the earth is not a rock that never changes. It is a living, changing planet that goes through changes on its own without any regard to what man has or has not done. Many animals have died out that we have had nothing to do with. I wondered in that old post if it is our place or not to intervene. The readers who commented about that statement compared me to someone who would through a cat out of a high rise window. They made those comments because they were so convinced that they were right. They were continually bashed me for saying that humans actually do have dominion over animals and we are supposed to be good stewards of our animals and resources, but I do not believe that a polar bear's life is more important than a child's life.Those bloggers were absolutely convinced that man is evil and that animals have more rights than humans. To this day, I cannot understand that kind of thinking. Man, in general is not the enemy. Things that man has done without thinking things through, have obviously impacted the earth in a negative way, but man did not set out to pollute and corrupt the earth. The industrialization of this country was not some sort of evil plan that "man" laid out ruin the planet. That is so ridiculous. So, here we are a couple of years later. I am, at times, a little uneasy about what to blog about. Those terrible comments really hurt--even though I did not intend for what I wrote to be taken so seriously--it was just my usual pondering about things and I was ripped to shreds. I was so upset by the comments that I quit using that blog site to post anything. I also find it interesting that only two years have passed, and our terminology has changed, our sense of urgency about the polar bears' plight has cooled down, and some corruption in the scientific world concerning the truth and validity of their "global warming" facts have come to light. Again, I am not saying that we (man) are not culpable in what is happening to our natural resources. I am saying that we need to be smart about our actions in response to what we are being told about climate change and how we live our lives day to day.

Things Are Getting Pretty Slimy and I Want Out!

As I have written in a couple of previous posts, my husband and I foolishly filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in April of this year. We have started our pay back plan and as usual, there is something that is not quite jibing the way we were informed it would. For the last two paychecks, my husband has only brought home a little over $800.00. He is paid every other week, so generally there are two paychecks per month--our family of six is living off of $1600.00 per month. I use the word "living" loosely because all we have been able to do with the money is pay our utilities and buy gas for our cars so we can get to work. I have been able to purchase groceries once in the last four weeks and with four children, $174.00 worth of groceries doesn't last very long. This whole thing has taught me to be humble, that is for sure, however our plan was to leave us with just under $3000.00 per month to pay our bills and buy groceries, pay for doctor visits and those sorts of things. Somehow, though, the lawyer/trustee calculations are not matching up with my husband's deductions from his paycheck. His company is doing exactly as they have been ordered by the court, so their calculations are correct. Our lawyer was rather put out with a rather panic stricken e-mail I sent him last week informing him that we were not going to be able to pay our bills with the money that has been left for us to live on. In a nutshell, he blew me off. Every moment of every day, and all night long, my mind is stuck on how we are going to survive five years of this. Next year one of our children will be going to college and I have no idea how we will pay for it. We won't be able to get a loan, so I am left to worry about that as well. I have been praying about this mess since it all came to light in January. I do believe that prayers are heard and answered, but for me, it never seems to be fast enough. My family is falling into a slimy pit of financial disaster, and I have no solid answer to my prayers. I have a little job that pays a little, but it is only for the school year. I have made an appointment to sell my plasma--I'm trading plasma for gasoline--I feel like a mess. There is a Psalm written by the great King David that has given me a little hope. . . it goes like this: ¹

I waited patiently for the LORD;
       he turned to me and heard my cry.
 ² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
       out of the mud and mire;
       he set my feet on a rock
       and gave me a firm place to stand.
 ³ He put a new song in my mouth,
       a hymn of praise to our God.
       Many will see and fear
       and put their trust in the LORD.
 ⁴ Blessed is the man
       who makes the LORD his trust,
       who does not look to the proud,
       to those who turn aside to false gods.
 ⁵ Many, O LORD my God,
       are the wonders you have done.
       The things you planned for us
       no one can recount to you;
       were I to speak and tell of them,
       they would be too many to declare.
 ⁶ Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
       but my ears you have pierced
       burnt offerings and sin offerings
       you did not require.
 ⁷ Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
       it is written about me in the scroll. 
 ⁸ I desire to do your will, O my God;
       your law is within my heart."
 ⁹ I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
       I do not seal my lips,
       as you know, O LORD.
 ¹⁰ I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
       I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
       I do not conceal your love and your truth
       from the great assembly.
 ¹¹ Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
       may your love and your truth always protect me.
 ¹² For troubles without number surround me;
       my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
       They are more than the hairs of my head,
       and my heart fails within me.
 ¹³ Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
       O LORD, come quickly to help me.
 ¹⁴ May all who seek to take my life
       be put to shame and confusion;
       may all who desire my ruin
       be turned back in disgrace.
 ¹⁵ May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"
       be appalled at their own shame.
 ¹⁶ But may all who seek you
       rejoice and be glad in you;
       may those who love your salvation always say,
       "The LORD be exalted!"
 ¹⁷ Yet I am poor and needy;
       may the Lord think of me.
       You are my help and my deliverer;
       O my God, do not delay.

Psalm 40
I am ready to climb out of this slimy pit. I need a little good news. . .

Rediscovering Ebay

www.ebay.com

I have been a part of the ebay community for a long time. Back when my second oldest daughter was about a year old, 1996, I believe, I was a bored housewife and was poking around the internet, trying to learn more about it. I found a site that was about button collecting because I was interested in that at the time (still like buttons as a matter of fact) and I was chatting back and forth with another stay-at-homer, who liked buttons and she pointed me to this little website called "ebay" where she purchased some buttons through an online auction. At the time, I thought is seemed a little risky and very technical, but I went there anyway. I didn't tell my husband anything about it yet. The first item I decided to bid on was a set of clay marbles from the civil war--I also collect antique marbles--at that time there were no pictures showing items. You were on your own, so it seemed really risky. I bid on the marbles and got them for $10.00. I sent the guy my check and a few days later, I had my civil war era antique marbles. Only then did I decide I could tell my husband what I had discovered. Fourteen years later, what an evolution! From a tiny, picture-less auction site to the empire it is today! Unbelievable!

I am writing this post today because I have gone through a dry period in regard to eBay. I have either been too busy, or too uninterested, or like now, too financially strapped to even bother looking, however, since we are in such dire straits in terms of personal income, my husband and I have started selling things again, and eBay really is a good place to make a little money on the side if you have the time and motivation. Selling some items from his tool collection, and my selling of other various items (handmade Halloween costumes coming soon!) has at least allowed us to put gas in our car, or go out to eat once in awhile. All those years ago, who knew I would be relying on a website to help get my family through a financial nightmare. For that, I am thankful for the gal who told me about ebay and thankful that ebay has been so successful for so long!

New Book--Great Read

I just finished reading the recently published book, "Last Dog on the Hill" by Steve Duno. If you love dogs and have a heart beating inside your chest, you can't help but enjoy this book. I usually shy away from books about animals, but as a dog owner who has loved and lost a couple of really great canine friends, I decided to go for it. This book is a memoir of Mr. Duno's life with his beloved Lou the feral dog he found on a hill in California. Lou seems almost like a superhero; way too smart to believe, but even if some of the stories about Steve and this great dog are a little embellished, it is still a really good book. There is a lot of humor and a lot of sadness in the book.   Mr. Duno is a great storyteller, and it felt like we were just sitting around listening to his adventures with this amazing dog that changed his life and helped change the lives of countless dogs who were slated to be euthanized. I finished the book in tears, but I had the satisfaction of knowing that I am not alone in my utter fascination and infatuation with my  furry companions. Even though Lou seems almost too extraordinary to be true, the relationship between him and his master is enviable. We all need a friend as loyal and brave as Lou!

Fading Summer

This week all the kids are back in school. The school where I work will start up again on Monday, and it just seems like the summer went so fast! Granted, my kids get out of school before Memorial day, so their "summer" break technically started in late Spring, and school starts in late Summer; no matter, it still seems like things pass by faster and faster. I am not sure if I like that or not. In one way, it is good because when you are a kid it seems like everything takes so long! It felt like I was always waiting for some event, or holiday, or season. Now, in almost the blink of an eye, another month has passed. Now the cicadas are shrilling, the days seem dry, the sparkly, cool, blue water of the neighborhood pool has lost its thrill. Every once in awhile, my dog seems to catch a whiff of Fall caught in a hot breeze. It is all so fleeting. I am finally learning to appreciate each hour, because just like that, change is upon me, and on and on it goes. . .
 

Congratulations! You Lose!

Shortly after I wrote my last post about filing for bankruptcy, we got a letter from our lawyer. The first sentence said, "Congratulations! Your Chapter 13 bankruptcy payment plan has been confirmed! Yada, yada, yada, b*llsh*t, b*llsh*t, b*llsh*t. . . What in the hell are they congratulating us for! That has to be the most asinine  letter I have ever received. Congratulations, you now get to pay us an enormous amount of money for the next five years, live below the poverty level, and be less motivated than ever to improve you earnings--(because if you do, we will adjust your payment to an even higher level, CHA-CHING!!!!) Filing for bankruptcy can sometimes really give people relief. Sometimes people need a second chance. Sometimes people need a kick in the pants to get their act together and pay for what they want. For me, I get that we need to be "punished" for what "we" (I only was aware of some of the debt we had, the rest was hidden from me by my husband) did. Instead of trying to pay back what we owed using Consumer Credit Counseling, my husband insisted that we jump into the bankruptcy, thinking it would be a quick fix. That is him in a nutshell--everything has to be "right now." If he would have been willing to really work out a budget with CCC, we might have avoided this whole mess. It all seems too much for me, too humiliating, too stressful to see that you have absolutely no money for groceries, too scary if, God forbid, any of the six of us would have some sort of accident, or illness, we would not have any way to pay for it. Even more likely, if one of our cars had a big problem, we won't be able to get it fixed. Extra money is just not there, and there are no credit cards to fall back on. In addition to that, we cannot ask our families for help because my husband has ordered me not to tell anyone; add to that that we have to lie to our children when they want to do something extra, and we don't have the money. All of this is simply too much, and really something that I am ashamed to be going through. This should never have happened to intelligent, educated, hard-working, motivated people. If only my husband had told me the truth when I asked him if we needed to work on a budget years ago. If only, if only. . . Please heed my words, do anything you can to avoid bankruptcy. It will ruin your life!

Thinking of Filing for Bankruptcy? DON'T!

If you are currently considering filing for a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, my simple advice to you is this: DO NOT DO IT! Without going into the stupid, gory details of my own ridiculous situation, let me tell you a few things I have learned.

1. Do not trust lawyers. They may think their intentions are good and noble. "I love helping people like you get out of situations like this!" That is good, old-fashioned bull crap. The lawyer is there for one reason, and that is to make money.


2. Do not trust the initial calculations for the "repayment plan." It looks very "do-able" in the beginning, but, as in our case a $1200.00 per month payment plan has now been tinkered with by the lawyer and the trustee so much that the monthly payment is $6000.00. We will now be living below the poverty level for a family of six, but we will not qualify for any school lunch or other assistance.

3. Do not believe for one minute that anyone (your lawyer, the trustee, the judge etc.) is on your side.

4. Do not expect that anything will be done quickly or easily. Everything ends up in turmoil.

5. Do not expect that you and your spouse will ever be the same after this. It is an enormous strain, especially if one spouse has incurred most of the debt.

6. Try to do everything you do with cash only.

7. Pray every during every available minute that a miracle will happen for you.

If there is any possible way for you to avoid filing for bankruptcy (either Chapter 13 or 7) please, please consider it! Bankruptcy sucks and it is ruining what should have been a wonderful life.

Getting My Fix From Somewhere Else

I just don't know what it is, but I just can't stop playing computer games. A few years ago, I purchased a computer game, Mah Jong Medley from Game House. My goal was to play and solve (i.e. win) each of the puzzle configurations. Things were going along at a good clip until I played the "Night Vision" configuration. I swear I tried to clear those tiles for YEARS! I'm not kidding, either. Then one day, I went to play my game, and my dear husband had decided that "all" my games (I think I had about 3 or 4) were taking up too much space, so he deleted them, and for some reason, I could not reload them on either computer even though I had paid for them. At any rate, I have to admit that I was rather lost without my addiction. I had to find a solution that didn't cost anything and didn't take up space on the computer. It took me awhile, but I discovered the Publisher's Clearing House games site. There are lots of games there--several Mah Jong ones, card games, arcades, sports, you name it and it is probably there. The only drawback, for me is that you have to endure the endless loops of 20 second ads between games. Anyway, I have been playing Maj Jongg Dimensions as well as a couple card games, and that seems to be satisfying my addiction. It is strange how those little games keep calling you back! If you want to play a few (not all of them are great, by the way) go to www.pchgames.com and see if you can kill an hour or two uh three, uh some time!

Funny How Things Change

I  was at the pool the other day, watching my kids swim when one of my neighbors came over and sat next to me. As moms do at these outdoor adventures, we settled in, and while keeping one eye on our kids, we started talking. After talking about a wide variety of topics, we landed on one that I have been pondering for days now. I have been married for a long time (almost 21 years) and this gal has been married for at least ten, and we were commiserating about how our relationships with our husbands have changed over the years. When a person first meets and starts dating someone, it seems they just can't get enough of each other. I remember going out on  dates with my husband, then coming home and calling him on the phone and talking until we both fell asleep. After we got married, we were both working and couldn't wait to get home to spend time with each other. Next, the babies started coming, and I couldn't wait for my husband to get home to give me some relief and to have someone to talk to. When the kids got a little older, I made a little more of my own "groove". The house was run a certain way during the day, and when dad came home, all attention turned to him. I liked having him around, and I enjoyed hiring a babysitter and going out on dates with him.

Oh my how things have changed! I still care about my husband, and enjoy talking to him most of the time, and I certainly would enjoy it if he would ask me out on a date, but things are a lot different than they used to be! I look forward to the work week so I can have a little peace around the house. I rather like it when my husband calls and says he will be home late. I really like it when he calls and says he has to out of town on a business trip for a few days. I feel different now. I am more confidant, and long for relationships with other people. Often times, my husband comes home and immediately starts yelling at the kids and complaining about the state the house is in (after a day at the pool, I have to admit, no housework gets done!). If he doesn't come storming in spewing out orders, he comes in sullen and silent. Either way, it is uncomfortable and no one wants to be around him. He often complains that no one is interested in him and no one listens to what he says. I am afraid to point out that neither yelling nor sullen behavior attracts any of us to him. He seems to want things both ways: he wants quiet time to unwind from work ("leave me alone") and at the same time wants everyone to lavish attention and affection on him. It is very confusing. It seems that the more time I spend with him, the less I enjoy his company. I believe there is something to the old sayings that go like this: "familiarity breeds contempt" and "absence makes the heart grow fonder."  They are opposites, but are really what my life is all about right now.

Luck, Good Fortune, Blessings?

I have been hearing about the woman who has won the Texas lottery four times. It seems so unlikely that one person could have so much good fortune! There is also Helene Handsell, who has also won just about every lottery and sweepstakes she has ever entered. She is known as "the winning Sage" and has written a book about how to be a winner. I am not sure I believe in luck, but these two women would appear to be very lucky people. It is a mystery to me how some people just seem to have good things happen to them, but one thing is not a mystery, and that is that these women were willing to take a chance to  win. They didn't just sit around wishing for good things, they went out and bought lottery tickets, and sent in sweepstakes entries--most likely just for the fun of taking a chance. I know it seems foolish, at times, to take remote chances, but if you are not going to put your life or your family's well-being at risk, why not?  It certainly is better than sitting around being miserable and wondering why "Lady Luck" or God or whomever you believe in isn't paying attention to you. I could absolutely use a little (a lot!!!) extra cash, and am willing to take some chances on winning. Luck, fortune, blessings. . . I am read to let any or all of them into my life!!!!

Vacation is Finally Over!

My husband has been on vacation for the last eleven days. I think this has been the longest eleven days I have ever lived through. It wasn't that it was awful, but it was just all about him, and I wanted it to be that way. Throughout our twenty-year marriage, my husband has always complained that I don't give him enough attention. In that regard, I believe he is right. It just isn't in me to lavish attention on him--it's not my personality. I am not a touchy-feely person either, so that bugs him as well. Anyway, I decided that we would do anything and everything he wanted to do, and I would put very few demands on him. He got almost everything he wanted for the past eleven days. I hope he can reflect on it and appreciate the gift that was given to him because it wasn't easy! During these eleven days, I realized something about my own life, and that is that I will never get a "vacation" like this one my husband had. I have to be the most boring person in the world, because even if I had had the opportunity to say what I wanted to do, I wouldn't have been able to come up with anything. Really, all I want is to not have to do laundry, not have to plan meals, not have to clean up after anyone, and just be left alone for awhile. I don't want  some big, hairy guy pawing at me every night; I just want to be left alone. I just want to be. I want to loll around on clean, cool sheets. I want to just sit and stare out at the horizon. I want to eat when, where and what I want. I want to watch the television shows I want, and read as late into the night as I please. I want to go shopping--window shopping--for anything but antique hand tools. These are the things that would make me happy. I don't have any idea when or if I will have the opportunity for a vacation that is all about me, but if I would be so lucky as to have eleven days all to myself, I would enjoy every boring minute of it!

Children at Play

I like watching children play. I know that sounds weird, but I am a mother of four as well as a classroom assistant at a special education preschool. Watching kids is what I do. They fascinate me and it is wonderful to watch how a child's play progresses and changes as they grow older, and wiser. For example, I am a special education assistant and have been working one-on-one with a visually impaired preschooler who was a student in the class for younger kids. I had the opportunity to work some extra hours and stayed for the afternoon class. That class is composed mostly of children who are older, preparing to go on to Kindergarten in the Fall. The difference in the way the morning and the afternoon classes played was remarkable. The younger kids mostly played by themselves, once in awhile engaging in side-by-side play with their classmates. In the afternoon, the children were much more organized and elaborate in their play. They set up the kitchen and served dinner to all their classmates who could/would participate. It fascinates me how even children who have learning problems (these classes have a whole range of special needs from hearing impairment, blindness, autism, & neurological disorders) play at varying levels of maturity. It was so fun to watch. It has been fun watching my own children as well, particularly my youngest who is eight. This summer, she is really turning into an interesting and funny kid. She has progressed from being timid at the swimming pool, to a confident little fish. She has also become quite the comedian, and even though she is on the cusp of being an "older kid" she still enjoys imaginative play and has been playing with her new Jessie (from Toy Story) doll every morning this week. She dug out all the old Toy Story toys from her older sisters and has substituted an American Girl doll's horse for Bullseye from the movie. I just love it. The messes that are made drive me absolutely crazy (both at school and at home) but watching children play is worth it.

First Day of Summer!

It's finally, officially here; the first day of Summer! Today is the longest day of the year--I wonder if I will even notice. Summer seems to pass so quickly now that I am older. The kids go back to school the middle of August, so it seems we just get started, and then everything comes to a halt because school starts so early. I guess we really ought to squeeze the most we can out of every day. I love summer! Enjoy!

Bring It On!

Okay, universe, I'm ready for any good stuff you have to send my way. I want good, not bad. Happy, not depressing, Encouraging, not discouraging. Any positive anything will be a welcome relief. Bring it on, because I am ready and waiting!!!

Is It Worth It?

Is it worth your child's life to let him or her live her "lifelong" dream of sailing alone around the world? Is a sixteen year old capable of even having  "lifelong" dream? I am referring, of course, to the young lady, Abby Sunderland, who is attempting to sail around the world. She ran into a bit of trouble somewhere in the Indian Ocean, and everyone started to panic. I have a seventeen year old that I have apoplectic fits about when I know she is out driving my car, I would never allow her to try to sail a boat by herself in Lake Webster, let alone sail around the world. I would not even let her drive cross-country alone--I will have none of it. Granted, this Sunderland gal has been "sailing" all her life, so she probably has a pretty good idea about how to do it, but I am reminded of a little girl, Jessica Dubroff, the seven year old whose "dream" it was to be the youngest pilot to fly across the country. At the time, my now seventeen year old was about five years old and I did a comparison of her to that little girl back then. I had a bad feeling about that stunt then, and sure enough, it ended tragically with the little girl flying her plane in terrible weather and crashing. Her life was gone. Just like that. The parents had the power to say "no, I don't think it is a good idea" but they chose to let the little girl have her way, or chose notoriety over common sense, and a life was lost. While it looks like this Abby is going to be okay, for now anyway, I think that any kid who is younger than eighteen really doesn't have the ability to see the dangers and mishaps that can come along with any risky behavior. Children and teenagers just don't have the ability to think things out in a logical way. They need parents to say they love them and their lives are more valuable than any risk or notoriety that would be attached to the risky activity.

Two Little Rants

Really quickly this morning, I just want to say that the BP executives are bumbling idiots, who weren't smart enough to have a plan in place in case something catastrophic happened to their oil well. Mistake after mistake is proof positive of their idiocy. The second thing is that Arizona has every right to defend her borders. How dare anyone judge that state for doing something to protect her legal citizens. If the federal government isn't going to enforce the immigration laws, then at least Arizona is trying to do something.

Rubber Band Fever

Has it hit your local elementary school yet? The "fever" I am referring to is the shaped rubber band explosion that happened in our town this Spring. It was the most amazing thing to see unfold, and I could just kick myself for not coming up with the idea first. If you have children, then you probably know about the fun, colorful, funny shaped rubber bands that are being sold all over. I first saw them several months ago--I think even before Christmas--and thought they would make good stocking stuffers, but I didn't purchase any. Around the beginning of May, I purchased a couple of packs of sea creature shapes and funny shapes for my daughter for her birthday. Ever since then, we can't seem to have enough of them. The crazy thing is, that apparently there is no patent on them, so there are many different manufacturers and many different places to purchase them. I have bought them at Walgreen's and Hallmark stores. The Walgreen's ones cost .99 for a card of six, and $2.99 for a pouch of 20 or 24, I think. The Hallmark ones were between $5.00 and $8.00 depending on what shapes. So, anyway, the kids (elementary through high school) have all been collecting them and trading them since early this Spring. They actually are not rubber, but silicone and there are many different names: Silly Bandz, Zany Bandz, Stretchy Shapes, Rubba Bands, Band-It-O's, and Bama Bands to name a few. I noticed that they can be purchased at Amazon.com as well, so now you know. If your kids haven't caught the "band fever" yet, they probably will soon.

Huh?

Here are a couple of questions for you.

How is it that you can mow your yard, meticulously watching that you catch every blade of grass, and then look back and see that there is one dandelion standing straight up right in the path you just mowed? How can that be? And, if you see that bold dandelion standing pin-straight, do you go back and mow over it, or do you just let it be? You do have admire it's tenacity. Sometimes it just feels like the right thing to do is to let it stand until the next time you mow. . . 

Speaking of doing the "right" thing, here is another mowing question. Do you delay your mowing if you see that the neighbor lady is having a gathering of other neighbor ladies on her deck? Or do you just go ahead and mow because this is the only time you are going to be able to fit it into your schedule? I mowed the front yard with the push mower, and am now waiting until the gathering breaks up so I can bring out the big tractor to do the backyard. Still, I really wanted to get it done now. I have other things to do.

New Hydrolyze and Dark Circle Info

Thank you to all the readers who have posted comments, ideas and experiences with Hydrolyze and other dark circle remedies. Please keep them coming. New things seem to be posted every week or so. We have to keep trying to find something that works and PLEASE, please be wary of the Hydrolyze product! I have yet to hear of anyone getting past all the scam to see if the product even works. Please scroll down to my Hydrolyze post(s) for the most recent information.

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

What an awful day for both political parties today! In my home state, the shocking resignation of Representative Mark Souder has thrown everyone in a tizzy. On the Democratic side, that Blumenthal guy lied about serving in Vietnam. I just don't get it. Where are all the fine, upstanding men (and women) who could/should be serving as our country's leaders. The whole Mark Souder thing really gets me. I haven't liked him very often, but he has been in office for a long time, so I am used to him, and his "family values" speeches and I just don't get it. The guy is from Grabill, Indiana for goodness sake! The place is tiny, has a large population of Amish, and is not the kind of place you would think would produce a guy who acts like he is the moral authority on everything, but conducts his personal life in a completely opposite manner. Another thing is, the guy (God bless him) is rather homely, so I can't figure out why someone/ anyone (including his current wife) would find anything very attractive about him. I'm just saying. . . The liar about serving in Vietnam has a whole other problem. No one likes liars, I don't care what party you belong to, a liar is no good for anyone! So, for you Mark Souder, I hope you are able to get things right with your family and God. For you Mr. Blumenthal, just go away, no one likes to be deceived, and now is a terrible time for you to be "misspeaking" Let's see if any good men can be found for the dirty job of politics!

Dermajuv Eye Revolution-Have You Tried It?

I am still on my never-ending quest to find a product that will reduce or eliminate the horrible dark circles I have under my eyes. So far, all the products I have tried have not really worked. All the other products out there are either scams (please see my posts and comments on Hydrolyze) or just too expensive for me to try. Today I found out about a product I had not researched before, and I hope someone out there will be able to try it and post back to me. The product is called.Dermajuv Eye Revolution Gel, I read several reviews on it and it seems like it might be something all of us dark circle sufferers are looking for. Best of all, it is not an "autoship" trap. I looked on the product's website and it is quite expensive--$99.99 for one 1.5 oz. bottle--so unfortunately, I cannot personally purchase the item. I also looked on ebay and saw that there were a few bottles listed with the lowest priced one starting at $98.50--pretty pricey! If any of my fellow dark circlers have used this product, or are able to purchase the product, please leave a comment here. If any of you come across any new products, please also leave a comment here. I know we are all desperate for help and don't want to be caught in a scam! Thanks for reading!!!

Grammatical Trials of Marriage

I have been married a long time and it amazes me that we have stayed together given our differences. Marriage is no piece of cake! The man I married twenty years ago is not the man I live with today. I am sure the reverse is also true. Some of our current differences are causing a bit of a strain on our relationship, but some of the differences, while annoying to me, are rather humorous, and I have to just pat myself on the back for biting my tongue and push forward. Here is an example of the somewhat humorous differences that have annoyed me through the years, but are, at the same time kind of funny. My husband and I didn't meet until we were in our mid-twenties, so I don't really know what his family life was like as a child. I was the product of two teachers who were adamant about grammar and spelling and sentence structure and manners and all that stuff, so when I married this guy whose parents are first generation Italian-American, and non-college educated, I had to back off a little. So. . . here are the things that bug me. My husband insists that words like long and song and wrong all end in the hard g sound---lon-guh, son-guh, wron-guh, etc. I insist  that those words end in the soft g sound, unless you are saying longest, strongest, etc. Another thing that is annoying to me is that he insists the correct usage of the plural of pair is pair. One pair, two pair. I, on the other hand, learned that it is one pair, or two pairs. My husband's reasoning is that one doesn't say, "I have 2 dozens of eggs" but I don't think that reasoning is really right. I'm not sure what the rule is, and truth be told, I think both ways are correct, but I think my way at least sounds the best. Another thing that really isn't grammatical but something that gets on my nerves is every time someone says "...it changed my life forever..." he has a fit because he says that the "forever" isn't necessary. Change happens and things will never be the same, so, according to him, adding forever to the statement is superfluous (my word, not his). The adding of the word "forever" just doesn't bother me. I think it is often added for emphasis. One last thing that bothers me is that my husband thinks the words bring and take are interchangeable. He says, "You need to bring this library book back." Whereas, I would say, "You need to take this library book back." Come to think of it, I don't think he ever uses the word take. I'm not sure why his use of the word bring instead of take annoys me so, but I really do not believe the two words mean exactly the same thing (thin-guh). At any rate, at least I can recognize the little bit of humor in it now instead of the annoyance of it  when we were first married.

Next-To-Last Bonnie Hunt Show

It is unbelievable  to me that "The Bonnie Hunt Show" has been canceled, but that embarrassing, and slightly disturbing "Tyra Banks Show" continues to have life. I just don't get it. The Bonnie Hunt Show was so funny and zany, informational, uplifting, and sometimes tear jerking. Why in the world has it been canceled? I hope the powers that be have huge plans for Bonnie. She is one of the most generous, and genuine entertainment personalities.  It is a shame no one really gives her a real chance to showcase her talent and wonderful personality. I had a dream last night that I gave Bonnie a huge hug and told her I would see her later (as if. . . she doesn't even know who I am) so I hope my dream was a premonition and that Bonnie Hunt will be offered some other, better show (time, production company, tv station, etc.) so that more people will get to be blessed with her crazy comedy and big heart.

Students Send Home For Wearing Red, White and Blue: Are You Kidding Me?

Well, I think I have heard it all now. I just read an article about some students who attend Live Oak High School in San Francisco, California who were sent home because they chose to wear t-shirts, shorts and shoes displaying the American flag and red, white and blue on May 5, the Mexican "holiday" Cinco de Mayo. The assistant principal asked the boys to turn their t-shirts inside out because they were offending some other students in the school. The offended students were of Mexican descent. The boys refused the assistant principal's request and so they were sent home. Excuse me???? This sort of stupidity and reverse discrimination, and violations of free speech are really getting on my nerves. This is the United States of America and if a kid wants to wear clothing expressing his pride in his country, then go for it. Some student was offended by the flag and colors? Please! With all the other crap that can be found on kids clothing these days, I can't believe the assistant principal had the audacity to lump the American flag into the dress code violations pile. To top it all off, one of the boys who was wearing the shirts has a father who is Mexican! Apparently the assistant principal was also Hispanic. This kind of stifling of our freedoms is really starting to get under my skin! What is happening that people are so sensitive? Normal dress codes do not allow revealing clothing, or t-shirts with guns, drugs, alcohol, or sexual references on them--those sorts of things are offensive and not conducive to learning. Thank goodness the school superintendent and school board reacted appropriately by meeting with the boys and their parents and telling them that the school was wrong in their interpretation of the dress code. God Bless America! Wear Old Glory and be proud!

I Love Fridays!

In honor of my new, more positive attitude, I would like to say that I love Fridays! I liked Fridays before I started working because it felt like something (the week???) had been completed, and everything would start afresh again on Monday. Now that I have my little part-time job and I have earned a couple of paychecks, I LOVE Fridays--every other one, especially. There is nothing in the world like seeing that a deposit has been made in your bank account. It is very satisfying. Along the same lines is my satisfaction and feeling of accomplishment with regard to this blog. I have been blogging for a few years now and have been trying to make my blog something that is pleasant and enjoyable to read. I also wanted to see if I could earn a little money with my casual writing, and I have. With the Google AdSense, I have slowing been building up my blog's money making ability, that is a great feeling too. Thank you for reading and you truly can make money with a simple, blog/journal.

Daily Affirmation

These days I have been feeling like that weird character  Al Franken played during his stint on Saturday Night Live. The the character was Stuart Smalley, and the skit was "Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley." With all the junk that has been happening in my life right now, I decided that I was going to continue to try to be positive. The bankruptcy looming large, trouble in my marriage and my youngest kiddo having some health problems just seem too much to bear, but I really do think a positive attitude will make things turn around. Even with the bad stuff happening all around me, there are also good things mixed in. I try to find something really great to be happy about each day. I also think that I am going to have to be the one who digs us out of this financial crap hole, so I think that staying positive might just invite an opportunity for me to change our situation around. So, in the words of Stuart Smalley, today I am repeating to myself: I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!" That's my daily affirmation, I hope it helps!

Old Ford Truck

This week I bought a 1974 Ford pick up truck. Yes, I know it is 36 years old! Yes, I know they don't make them like that anymore, but heck, it sure is fun to drive around in an unusual vehicle! Everyone has something to say about it. Never mind the fact that the truck is kiwi green and white. Never mind that the truck feels like you are steering a boat! It is just fun. I actually bought it so my daughter would be able to drive to school since she will be taking some off-campus classes in the Fall, I thought I just couldn't pass this opportunity up. Sometimes old things are cool, and right now, I am the coolest but not old!) mom in town!

"Date Night" is More Than Just a Comedy

Have you ever gone to a movie expecting to be entertained, and end up coming out of the movie having been moved in an unexpected way? That is exactly what happened to me this weekend when my husband and I went to see the film "Date Night" starring Tina Fey and Steve Carrell. I thought it would be a good laugh and that I would enjoy it and that would be it, but the film did far more than that. Near the climax of the movie when the couple was talking about their friends who were breaking up, and how the friends described their relationship as really excellent roommates, I really had to think about that. The Tina Fey and Steve Carrell couple were trying to figure out if they were more than just "excellent roommates" or if their marriage was more than that. I have been married for twenty years and lately, I have been questioning what my relationship with my husband is, and what it means. We have been traveling on a pretty bumpy and precarious road for the last couple of years, and frankly, for me, our relationship is quite like being excellent roommates. I have no desire to divorce my husband, but I also have no real motivation to be anything more than a roommate. He has become someone different than I thought he was. I am sure I am different than the person he married twenty years ago. I am much more independent and stronger than I ever thought of myself in the early years of our marriage. I used to think he was a hero; that he could fix anything, and solve any problem. What I have now come to realize is that I am the one who is strong and can solve problems and keep us together. It has been me all along. I have been let down and hurt and confused by my husband for all these years and the thing that has kept me going; kept me with him, is my faith, and my strength. I am so much more than just a housewife. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe we will get stronger and survive the current mess we are in. Maybe we will continue being excellent roommates, or maybe there will be more in store for us that will bring us closer, I just don't know. The movie, "Date Night" is a good one and there is more of a message in it than your average comedy. I'm glad I saw it!

Tiger Woods Nike Commercial

What do you think of the new Nike commercial featuring Tiger Woods and the voice of his deceased father? Does it make you want to go out and buy a set of Nike golf clubs? I am not sure what the point of the commercial is. Tiger Woods has apologized to the whole world, so why is such a commercial needed? In my opinion, the ad will not increase sales of Nike golf equipment. In fact, I think the ad is a little creepy, and Tiger looks weird in it and it could turn people off to the Nike brand. I think he needs to worry less about what his fans and endorsers think, and concentrate on trying to heal his relationship with his wife and children. Maybe he should fire his handlers and just try to live out of the spotlight for a long while.

The Final Push!

Hey! I am just $1.86 away from reaching my Google AdSense goal. One final push, and away I go to my first payday! Yay! This just goes to show you that anyone, even lowly housewives can make a little money using Google AdSense and a personal blog. Yes you can! Now readers, please, just give me that little push.

The Hypnotic Secret

Just curious if anyone has tried "The Hypnotic Secret" cds or downloads from Dr. Harlan Kilstein. It all sounds intriguing and I would like to try it, but I just don't have the money to spend on the stuff. If anyone has tried it and has feedback one way or the other, please leave me a comment. I sure could use a little positive energy in my life right now! I am also curious about the "Law of Attraction" idea. Does that stuff really work? How does it jibe with Christian beliefs????

Hydrolyze Dark Circle Cream

Okay everyone, here we go again. Back in December of 2008, I wrote a post on this blog about a product called "Hydrolize" that was supposed to get rid of dark circles under a person's eyes. I have received countless comments and e-mails regarding this product, so I think I need to update my information. The name of the product is now "Hydrolyze" I think all they did was change the spelling. I have yet to receive any positive feedback on this product. The only thing I have received is complaints about requesting the "free" trial. With regard to this product free means $6.95, or sometimes $12.95. Once you sign up for the trial, you will be billed monthly for around $69.95. It also appears that it is next to impossible to cancel your "subscription" to this product. I tried to find an address or a company name on the website, but there just isn't any contact information. I have also tried to look this product up on the Better Business Bureau website, but came up with nothing. So, my best advice regarding this product is NOT to purchase even the "free" trial. I would still like to know if  the product works, but it seems that everyone who has ordered is has been so caught up in the monthly payment scam of it, that they haven't really gotten to use the product. No matter how you spell it, Hydrolize or Hydrolyze, be very careful and do not fall into the billing trap they set for people like me who are desperate to get rid of their dark circles.

$3.00 Away

I don't know why this seems blog-worthy to me, but it just is. I am only $3.00 away from being eligible to be paid by Google Adsense. I have been plugging away at building my little blog and make it pay a little bit of pocket money. Now, I am  so close to my payday that I can hardly stand it. Sure, it has taken me a LONG time to get here. I made a lot of mistakes and I have been working at this for the better part of 2 years, but the point is this: one really CAN make money blogging. It is possible. I know that now because I have done it and I am proud of myself. I hope I can improve my blog and make money even faster. Google AdSense  can  help you make money. Take a chance and try it for yourself!

Health Care Bill Worries Me

I don't know about you, but the way this health care bill is being rammed through is making me quite nervous. Senators changing their minds after meeting with President Obama seems awfully fishy to me. Do these Senators not have backbones? Are they being threatened in some way? That is not to say that I am totally against reforming our health care system. There are certainly things that could be improved, but this complete overhaul is too much too soon. Sure, there are people who need reform now, but why in the world, with something this important--our health, our very lives--would any of us be okay with agreeing to this slipshod mess. No one understands it, no one knows what is truly in it. Why not go about changing things by taking out the most crucial part, examining it, and finding ways to fix it rather doing everything all at once. If you were sick with a severe case of strep throat, would you allow doctors to cut your head off to cure it? Certainly not! If you car has a flat tire, would you allow a mechanic to take the engine out? No, of course not. This whole health care bill is just too much. I was taught that when I do something, I need to take my time and make sure the job is done right. Rushing through something just to say you got it done means nothing. Rushing through something such as the health care reform could be disastrous. Don't politicians have any common sense at all?

I Hate Daylight Savings Time!!!

Just a quick entry today. I hate Daylight Savings Time. It is stupid and really doesn't help anyone. Now I am going to be tired and cranky and my kids are going to have to wait for the bus in the dark tomorrow morning. Being a stubborn Hoosier, I liked things the way they were back before Mitch (the dark prince) Daniels became our governor. He crammed the DST thing through during his first week a governor. The citizens of Indiana ended up losing sleep and money in the whole deal. Let's face it, the excuse(s) for changing to DST were pretty flimsy: 1. To lower crime rates, 2, So it would be easier to do business with the surrounding states 3. so that Indiana would no longer be one of only two states (now I think only Arizona is left) that doesn't observe the time change. Not one of the those excuses has benefited anyone that I know of. The other thing I hate about Daylight Savings Time is that it is light and bright well past nine o'clock in the evening, but no stores stay open past that time. Everyone is raring to go, but there is nothing to do. Sorry, Benjamin Franklin, you had lots of good ideas in your time, but DST was one of the most ill-conceived, idiotic and unhealthy ideas you came up with.

What a Life!

My 93 year old grandmother passed away this morning at 8:15. It is sad, but also a relief because her little body was just not functioning well. She lived a great life. She and my grandpa made a dapper couple and even though they were never rich, they lived a nice, comfortable life. I remember when my sister and I were little girls sleeping over at my grandparent's house, my sister and I would call to my grandma to come and sing to us before we fell asleep. I don't remember all the songs, but one was "Froggy Went A'Courtin', and "Write My Name With a Golden Pen." The golden pen song puzzled me a bit because I thought she meant "pin" not "pen" I knew that it had something to do with going to heaven and meeting Jesus, and making sure your name was written in the Book of Life, but I could only picture a golden diaper pin when she sang the song. . . I must have had diapers on my mind because my brother was a baby at the time.  The funny thing is, that we are having a gray and cloudy morning here, but right around 8:15, the clouds broke for a few minutes and the sun shone brightly through the clouds. Makes me think my granny was on her way to check for her name in the Book of Life! Anyway, I am feeling a lot of different things right now. Sadness is one thing, but happiness for my grandma because she is free. Life won't be the same without her, so now we will have to figure out what the new normal is for us. Grandma was the constant in all of our lives and she will be missed something awful for awhile.

I Don't Understand

My grandmother is old. Not super old, just pretty old. She is ninety-three. On April 1, she will be ninety-four. She has always been a character. She was a very young mother, so that, in turn, made her quite a young grandmother. She has always dressed well; never succumbing to all that ugly polyester Karen Scott or Sag Harbor kind of "old lady" clothes. She always seemed to keep up with the trends and yet never dressed like she was trying to look young. I am using the past tense of my verbs because my dear, sweet, feisty, grandmother is lying in a nursing home bed suffering. It is unbelievable to me how quickly a person can deteriorate. In September, I was still e-mailing her at least once a week. In October, she started having pain and by the end of the month, she was in a nursing home to get physical therapy with the hope that she would return to her home. She had a few more health crises, and is no longer even getting dressed. She lays perfectly still on her bed because every movement causes her back to hurt. She no longer has any solid vertebrae, so her spine must be tender. This all so weird, and everything seems contradictory. Her health seems to have declined so rapidly, that we are all surprised that she is even still alive. She frequently asks my dad why she just can't "go."  My dad has told her that maybe God isn't ready for her yet. I don't know how long she will buy that response. She is still mentally sharp. She has always wanted to "meet her Lord and Savior" and so why all the suffering? She has lived a good, long, life. She has been a faithful follower of Christ, so why not? I just don't understand. Why in the world must she suffer so? I guess God alone knows and we just need to love and comfort her until he is ready for her.

Great Idea, Terrible Noise!

I just opened a fresh bag of Sun Chips this afternoon for my lunch. I think I am deaf now. The new packaging even warns the consumer that the bag is LOUD, but I bought them anyway. The bag is the first compost-able bag in the world (so they claim) and that is why it is so loud. I think the idea is great. Anything we can do to create less trash, I'm all for. I give the Frito-Lay company an A+ for their great idea. I give Frito-Lay D- with regard to the noise pollution the bag creates. I don't think I will let my kids eat from the bag, we will all be hard of hearing if I do. I thought I might just dump the chips into some other container and go bury the compost bag in my flower bed. Go see for yourself what I am talking about, and then let me know what you think! Happy crunching!!!

Money Problems

Have you ever had problems with money? It seems like in the twenty years I have been married, all we have had is money problems. I am only now finding out just how much trouble we are/were having. We have gotten ourselves in such debt that I don't think we will ever be free. It is sickening and no matter how mad about it I get, I still only have myself to blame. Being a stay-at-home mom, my attention was almost exclusively focused on the children. My husband "paid" the bills and I didn't think too much about it. On several occasions I offered to take the burden of paying the bills off of my husband's shoulders, but he refused. A couple of times, after I insisted, he showed me his bookkeeping and had it so confusing, and so complicated that all he did was yell at me when he was trying to show me what he was doing. I have always been a little "old school" with my bookkeeping--paper and pencil and a tickler file. Anyway, in the last year, I have taken over a good bit of the bill paying and was shocked at the amount of credit card debt we are in. I had no idea my husband had used cash advances and balance transfers to max out most of the credit cards we had. While I would love to put all the blame on him, I certainly have to take responsibility for some of the situation as well. If I had not wanted to get a table for the kitchen, or landscaping, or bedroom accessories, then he might not have felt so much pressure to put things on a credit card. At any rate, we are in a terrible fix. I don't see any other way out except to file for bankruptcy. This makes me heartsick. We have children who will be going to college and very likely will be affected by this move. We are considering Chapter 13, which makes me want to vomit every time I think about it, but unless one of us has a rich uncle we don't know about, or we win a sweepstakes, we are out of options. I recently got a part-time job after being unemployed for 17 years, but now I am wondering if I will even be able to afford gas for my car to get me to that job. It is a black hole we are falling into, and I am scared!

Math Facts Speed Test

Maybe some of you can relate to this: the faster you try to do something, the slower you get. That is the situation I have been dealing with with my second grader. Every Monday her class goes to the computer lab and sits in front of a computer to do their "math facts." The idea, I guess, is to get kids to know their basic math facts in an instant, which is a good thing. My kid is having a devil of a time with this though. She gets all hung up on the idea of doing it fast, and the harder she tries, the slower she gets. It is SO frustrating. It seems that every little thing in the classroom distracts her--the teacher clicking her pen, another kid standing over her shoulder watching what she is doing, other children talking. My kid just can't deal with the environment. I addressed this with the teacher a couple of times and she sent home the "Math Facts Fast" cd for us to use on the computer here at home. All I have asked is that my daughter do the facts for five minutes everyday. So far she has only gotten them finished under two minutes one time. The most frustrating thing about it is that she knows the answers. All ten are correct every time, but only after about 2 minutes. I just don't know what else to do to help her. Now she is becoming so anxious about Mondays that she is getting stomachaches and nervous habits. Anyone have any ideas for me?

Why Don't Athletes Sing the National Anthem?

I love the Olympics. Summer, winter, either one, I love watching them. I enjoy the watching the sheer joy and determination and "the agony of defeat," but there is one thing that has been bothering me lately. When Lindsey Vonn was standing on the podium after receiving her gold medal, the American flag(s) were raised and the national anthem began, but she didn't sing or mouth the words to our anthem. I noticed that other medal ceremonies as well and it just is a little bit disheartening. I know the song is awful to sing because the range is so wide. Those high notes are killers and I usually drop down an octave or just mouth the words at that point in the song, but out of love for my country, I sing it. It would be nice to see our American athletes at least try to sing while their country is being honored. I noticed that the Canadian snowboard gold medalist seemed to belt out "Oh, Canada" when she was on the podium. It has occurred to me that perhaps American children are no longer taught the words to our national anthem in school; it would probably offend someone. Maybe that is why these young athletes do not sing or at least pretend to sing the song. It is a sad thing though, and I am going to make sure my kids know the words even though they will probably never have to stand on top of a podium in front of the whole world and sing them. ****At least Lindsey Vonn did have her hand over her heart--that is a start, I guess.......

Snoring

Okay, I might have posted about this before, but it is really becoming a problem. My husband snores, snorts, farts, shakes the bed, moans and makes all other sorts of disgusting sounds in his sleep. It is killing our relationship and he thinks I'm making it all up. I dread going to bed with him. I love the idea of having a peaceful, dreamy, relaxed sleep, but I can't remember the last time I had that. My husband hears what I am saying about all the noise and junk he brings on at night; he even went so far as to purchase those Breathe Right nose strips, but he has yet to open the box. I think my husband thinks its funny, but I am now to the point where I am angry. It isn't my fault that I have to sleep out on the sofa or in one of my kids' rooms, but he acts all indignant when he wakes up in the morning and I haven't slept in that hellish bed with him. It is ruining our relationship, and he thinks it's funny. He also emits this terrible sweating, old man sort of stench when he sleeps and I can't bear to be around it. I don't know what to do because I have told him how I feel and he just blows me off. I am open to any suggestions.

I Am No Longer a Reject!

I just got a call this morning that I am being recommended for a job I applied for. It is in the public school system, so I have to wait for the school board to give approval for hiring me, but once the approval is given, off I go. It is not a prestigious job, and it is only for the morning hours, but for me, it seems like the perfect job. I will have the best of both worlds. I will be home until all my kids board their morning buses, I will go to work assisting a little visually impaired child, then I will be home for lunch and the rest of my housewife duties. The icing on the cake is that I will be paid a decent hourly wage for the work. I don't think I could ask for anything more right now. We have tremendous bills that need to be paid, and while this job won't be able to cover them, it will provide me with a little money to put in the bank as a cushion should we come up short. All that I can say right now is: "God is good."

After All These Years, Rejection Still Stings

I have been on a little quest the past several months to find a job that can provide me with a little pocket money. My kids are always asking for money for school stuff, or gas money or something, and lately, I have not been able to always supply them with much. I guess now is not really a good time to be out there looking for a job, but I really feel this pull to get back out there; at least part-time. In the Fall I applied for a job at one of the local high schools in the Special Education Department. I went through all the interview stuff and of course, was promptly rejected. Then, I applied for several other jobs at schools, and never heard anything from them. Recently, I tried applying for a job that I found through snagajob.com. I never thought I would get a response, but I did and went through the interview process, and even though the job doesn't pay much, I thought it would be something that could work with my busy schedule with my kids activities. Well, wouldn't you know it, I get the lovely rejection letter in the mail today. Ouch! It still stings when you are told that someone doesn't think you are worthy. In any kind of situation, be it a personal relationship or a working relationship, it hurts when you realize you have come up short in some way. I know I am a good worker. I am reliable, trustworthy, funny and dedicated, but the people I have interviewed with apparently think I am lacking in some way. It sucks, really, to have always been good at what I did/do, and then be reduced to being just another unemployed person who doesn't fit the bill. That seventeen year gap in my resume is killing me. All I want is a little money for gasoline and the little extras my girls might ask for. I still feel the sting. . . . . . .

The New iPad, Ick!

This week, the big "techie" news was that Apple was introducing their "iPad." When I heard that, I had to think about it for a minute. I am not into technological things. I like my cell phone and think texting is really handy, so I like my QUERTY keyboard. I also think the internet is cool, but I don't have any idea how any piece of technology works. I don't even care. So, when I say I heard about the iPad coming out, the thing that caught my ear was the name. The iPad. . . . hmmmm. . . . are you kidding me? What a terrible, unimaginative name. It sounds like a feminine hygiene product. Yuck! Just try it out. Picture a real nerdy guy talking to another nerdy guy, "Oh hi, Poindexter, I am so excited! I'm going to the store to get an iPad!!!" Ewwww. I just don't like the sound of that. Couldn't those brainiacs at Apple come up with something better; more clever? The thing looks like a giant iPod Touch, so I don't think it is really all that impressive. It looks clunky, but of course, what do I care, I will never have one because I have no use for one. I just think that every time I hear someone mention it, I will get a chuckle, and think of some silly jokes about feminine hygiene products. Here are a few that I have already heard: Do you think my boyfriend will be embarrassed to go to the store to buy me my iPad? Can I wear white while I'm using my iPad? Does my iPad made me look bulky? Silly, isn't it? Maybe they should have some contest to rename the thing, or at least start calling it the iTablet, or iTab for short. I'm just saying. . . .